GIVE FREELY OF WHAT YOU FIND

Sunday was such a wonderful day. As I had said my Sis had a BBQ for me and it turned out just great. Family and some long time friends in the fellowship were there. There was a problem in trying to figure out who was family and who was program as it was such a combined lot. It is really good to have family in recovery, probably not as many as need to be there and some that never made it into the program.

The highlight of the day had to have been MC's mixed berry pie, it was delicious is an understatement. It is just hard to describe just how good it was, and for some of you out there it just would not be fair to say anymore about it, because it would just create a yearning that you may never get to satisfy.

We all shared old times and new ones as well. I had a niece there that asked about who this one was or that one was, and I kept replying that they were Anonymous and that I had know them for years. Not only that but they know her father as well, unfortunately he has not been able to make it in the program as much as we would all like to see that happen. Oh she and her husband are both members of our fine fellowship.

I was able to visit with MC about all that she has going on in her life and I jsut do not know how she can possibly have time to blog. It was good that her calendar was somewhat free this weekend so that we could get together. Then C & K were there and C reminded me and every one else about me taking him to his first meeting, and all the cologne that he had put on, we laughed about how that old Mustamg probably still smells of Brute or was it Hi Karate.

The bottom line is that is so wonderful to trudge the road of happy destiny with friends that have been around so long no matter what part of the country we live in. We make friends for a lifetime that are priceless.
FAEA ;)


We never know just how much

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Here we go on the road again. My wife and I get to work near Lake Placid, New York this summer so we closed down our home in Montana Thursday evening for our trip. Now most people would take a direct route and head out across country on I-90. I have planned a different route with what I hope are some interesting stops. The first night we were only able to make it a couple hundren miles before I needed to get some sleep. The next day we made it to my sisters home in Denver which is the first planned stop. On our way to my Sisters' she had called me to check on our progress and during one of those telephone calls she told me that I was her hero. Now that is miraculous considering there was a time she did not really care to have me around her at all.

We spent most of Saturday with another JOE and his wife who are truckers. I had not heard from this guy for a couple years and by chance he calls me from Limon and says he is on his way to Seattle, and that he would like to get together sometime. When I told him I was in Denver the get together had to be soon. So what was to be breakfast turned into almost an all day event.

I was able to contact my friends in the area though and invite them to a little BBQ that sis and her new hubby had planned. It will be nice for me I will get to visit with family and friends in a relaxing atmosphere and not be chasing all over the area to meet at a coffee shop or restaurant.

The friends coming over today are in the program and because this disease does run rampant, there will be family here today that are in the program as well. It will be an intersting gathering, the first of many on this summer long adventure.

All of the friends that are coming over know each other they have moved to different parts of the area and some have not seen each other in years so they all seem to be excited about this as well.

Next stop Southern Indiana.

MIRACLE

My lovely bride has managed to set a new record. In my life time Wlizabeth Taylor amd Johnny Carson have had nothing on me in the marriage department. I found that my lucky number must be 7. Yesterday was our 10th Anniversary and as far as I am concerned that is a miracle. for me to have a woman who would put up with me that long. When I asked her yesterday morning if she was surprised that we made it this long she said no, it has been easy. WOW!!!

I had one of those bad pickers for such a long time, and had to learn a lot of lessons from my ex's
unfortunately the do not all live in Texas.

The Lady that I am very Happily Married to today ( and this time it is not an oxymoron) was very smart and she knew of my history of just liking to ask the ladies to marry me , then stand up and say I do. It must have been an OCD problem. When I asked this one to marry me she said not until she has known me for two years would she even consider it.

I must have thought she was a keeper so I courted her for two years, then asked her again and she said yes. It has been one of the greatest things that has ever happened in my life. I had missed being with her on our previous two anniversary dates, as last year I had to be out of town working, and the year before I was dealing with an ungrateful son 1000 miles away from home. So it was nice to be able to take her out for dinner and be together on that important date.

So why should I mention this? Well I had been sober quite a few years before I met her, and I had learned a number of lessons in working the AA program. I also believe that I had lessons to learn from all of those ex's to prepare me for the Lady I have in my life today, and for that I am grateful. For without that I would never have made it to where I am today.

The program has given my the life skills to live today. I have no doubt that this bit of success I owe to AA.

H.A.L.T.

There are so many things going on right now, with getting trady for my Summer Job. Then there is the planning fpr my trip to get there. If I take the nost direct route it will be about 2200 miles. Instead I will be making what is becoming my regular sidetrips and will be driving about 3500 miles. Well all of the planning and preparing et al has been keeping me awake longer. So I am going to bed very tired and not sleeping well. So the freams have not been pleasant and I just give up and get up out of bed.

What I have been doing is reliving problems that I had with my old man. Now he was not the Jim Anderson or Ward Cleaver type, in fact he was a practicing Alcoholic. He had tried sobriety a few times and I don't think he ever made it past 30 days. So that turmoil that comes in a family full of alcoholism has been the main subject of the unpleasant dreams. This has had me thinking about all of thr resentment I have had towards him and in the process doing a little more inventory on it.

It is just a way to remind me that I still have to work steps, the best part of this is I do not have the fear of it that I had early in my sobriety. This really is a life long process and it is important that I stay aware of this, and practice these principles in all of my affairs. The practice is the important part because we never reach perfection.

The thing that comes to mind is H.A.L.T. I am not getting too tired, then the next thought is I remember being told no one ever died from lack of sleep.

REFLECTION

After reading One Sober Alcoholics post on Thurdays post on Wednesday it took me back.

That fourth column of our personal inventory and how I dreaded the day I did it. Now the funny part of that is, that was just a few days ago and I can remember that like it was yesterday. It was an very beautiful spring Sunday morning, I really wanted to go to my regular Sunday morning breakfast meeting and was looking for an excuse to not finish my inventory but not wanting to live with that garbage from my past either. So I remember calling my sponsor Don up that morning and somwhere in my subconscious during that phone call I heard "the truth shall set you free" then I remeber Don saying he would see me when I got it done.

I to did not want to look at myself let alone my life in that column. I found that was where my relief came from though and I am grateful for that. I do remember feeling so good when I finished the last item, and thinking that hey no need to go on to the next step beacause I was already experiencing the relief. Don had taught me though that I had to follow the directions from capitol letter to period. That meant it was time to go share it with another human being and he was the only one that I felt I could trust with that. So I went across town and got rid of it all of it.

Thank You Mary for taking me back there again, I needed that reflection.
FAEA

LIFE IS GOOD

Happy Mothers day to all the Mom's. My mother passed away when I was 18, I have had times where I wondered how different my life would have been if she were alive. I think about her on Mothers Day though. Today is a special Mothers day as it is the 100th anniversary of this holiday.

So yes life is good today, I continue to go to the gym and have managed to loose about 16 lbs. since I started. It seems to be taking a lot longer to get my heart rate up so I must be building some endurance. I did manage a 2 mile walk on the treadmill this week in just under 43 minutes. For me that is a big deal, I still cannot imagine the half marathons that Mary has run. I think I will be content with a nice paced 4 or 5 mile walk.

We have been working at getting things ready for our trip to New York for the summer, it will be interesting. I was sent a brochure about the area we will be in and there are hiking trails all over the Adriondaks near Lake Placid. I may get the opportunity to try a couple of them just for the views they have to offer. The other blogs I have been doing and the activities that we have coming up are keeping me pretty busy this I am grateful for as Today is another Great Day.

NEW MOTIVATION LESSONS BEING LEARNED

I have been finding out that some of the Doctors I have seen over the last several years may actually have been right. They have been telling me that I needed to get out and walk at least 30 minutes a day. When they first told me this I could not walk 100 feet without being out of breath. Last month I discovered that my insurance would cover my membership at a gym. So I thought I just as well check it out. That was just over a month ago I joined the gym, they set me up with a trainer for two sessions. When I started my blood pressure was really out of whack, and I had an average resting heart rate around 105. When it got to 120 I thought I was going to fall over on that tread mill and it didn't take long for me to get there, so after 15 to 20 minutes I was all in.


Now I am going there 4 times a week and my endurance keeps getting better. I have been able to spend as much as 45 minutes on the treadmill and maintaining the heart rate around 135. Then I spend some time on a bycycle machine go al most 2 miles then to the weight training machines for about 30 minutes.


I am finding out that it is not that bad, I am starting to feel better and have lost 10 pounds since I started. I only have about 50 more pounds to be at a weight that I think I could be happy with. I am enjoying going to the gym and my attitude about some of the things in my life.

I still cannot imagine running 15 miles like MC let alone the marathon she is planning on. I think I could be happy with a 5 mile walk at a descent pace. Everyday is good and I continue to learn from all of those around me.

A LITTLE CATCH UP

The end of last year was a prettty big let down and stayed that way until about February. Then I started getting busy, I am working on a gathering of about 700 red suited gentlemen. So it is keeping me busy. I am now going to be trying to keep up with three different blogs.

The latest one is for our gathering next march it is CelebrateSanta.
And those that have read my blogs know what the other one is. I just had to put up a complete wrap up for 2007 on that one.

Some good news came in I will get to work at The North Pole in New York this summer. I even get to bring my wife and dog, so again I will be doing a lot of traveling.

Now I will try to do a little catchup on reading my friends blogs.

WASTING TIME

Well I sure made a mistake by allowing myself to repond as in my last post.
I was watching the Colbert report the other night,( not something I would normally do) and the had on Rick Warren who wrote A Purpose Driven Life. Colbert was ripping this guy apart I guess in a good natured way. Then he asked him what is fundementalism? The reponse was great in my opinion, he said they are the people who just stop listening.

It feels good to get some things out here again.

MY INTRODUCTION TO MICKEY

I have not posted here since April last year. It was a busy year and I just have not been ready to get back into a routine. But his morning I got a notice that someone had replied to my last post. So I read it and tried to find some humor in it all. Then I responded with a personal e-mail back to this Mickey. At first I thought Iwould let it go, then decide to put it all in here.

I would like to think I can post more here, my schedule has changed drastically from last year.

Some of the good things from last year for me were, traveling over 25,000 miles as the jolly ol fat man. Getting to turn 30, and reaching 11,000 of those wonderful days of sobriety.

It had been so long since I posted I had forgotten how to get on. So now that I have done that I need to try to catch up on some of my favorite blogs. Now for the rhetoric .

ARE YOU A BILL & BOB CLONE, Sky Mack,?12 Step Programs are "satanic", mind altering, "cults"....they are wrong, bad, evil, dangerous & above all....anti Christ!!Recognizing “Groupthink”Singer (cult expert) stresses that all cults are based firstly on a thought reform program Such programs aim to dilute people’s individuality, change their core belief systems and alter their concept of themselves. This is done by imposing a “totalistic ideology” which “explains everything” Such groups will say they are “THE WAY”, the “ONLY WAY” be it in religion, science, self-help, psychotherapy or politics.Lifton (cult expert) points out that "included in this mystique is a sense of ‘higher purpose’, of ‘having directly perceived some imminent law of social development’, of being themselves the vanguard of this development" Consequently, all other groups are charlatans, shams, impostors, degenerate, etc. Normally they have authoritarian leaders and lieutenants at all levels and/or they venerate the works of dead leaders to justify their totalistic ideology and actions. Not choosing the group’s Way will usually lead to humiliation, damnation or death. To achieve this they such a phenomenon members undergo what has been called “brainwashing”, “mind control” in order to achieve “Groupthink”.I, MICKY, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD.

Micky

You are surely misinformed about the program of AA. First of all I have been sober for over 30 years, Secondly I did not need to be a clone of either Bill or Bob.

Your statement from your so called cult expert Singer does not know very much about Alcoholics Anonymous. They do not try to take away a persons individuality or change their core belief system.
Thye do encourage people to get back in their own church if they want to. Those that are the least bit familiar with AA know that they are the first to admit that they do not have the only way.

Again your so called expert Lifton does not know about AA we have no Authoritarian leaders or leutenants at any level. I have never seen anyone humiliated or damned to death if they did not chose the AA program, people have always been encouraged to do whatever they felt necessary to get sober.

As a group and individually some of us have seen the horrible death and destruction that comes from alcoholism, and we don’t particularly want to see people go that path if we can help them in anyway. I have personally seen tens of thousands of people helped by and become useful members of society from what they have learned in AA.

So Micky I am very happy for you that you have found something that works for you. I am also happy for you that you are THE HOLY ONE OF GOD. It would be far too much responsibility for me to carry on my shoulders.

I have no need to criticize you for your path, and it would be nice if you would not criticize me or my friends for the paths that we have taken.

I am also glad that you took the time to stop by my blog that I have not posted to in such a long time. Stop by anytime you care to. However you need to know that I probably will not allow your negative comments to be posted.

Sincerely
Big Sky Mack

GOOD NEWS

Wow I get to work this summer in Indiana. from May 19th to August 12th. I will be in Santa Claus IN. The Santa at Candy Castle. It has me excited. Then it looks like I will be someplace in Minnesota from mid Nov. through Dec. 24.

We are having a gathering of white bearded gentlemen in Denver April 28th and 29th. A Santa school at Colorado School of Mines on Saturday. Then a luncheon at El Rancho on Sunday.

I have been busy getting these things put together and have not had much time to post. I will probably be posting more on my other blog through the summer.

I have missed checking in with everyone and now maybe things will start to settle down a bit so I can get back to my blogging friends.

POST 100 GRATITUDE

I just don't post here like some of my fellow bloggers. I saw that it was going to be number 100 so I thought it would be a good idea to post 100 things I am grateful for. I don't make up a gratitude list to post regularly I usually just keep all that I am grateful for to myself. In looking at my list I am aware of many more things that I have to be grateful for, I just figured I would keep this list to 100.

100 things in my life that I am grateful for

1. I can breathe

2. My heart Beats

3. I can see

4. I can hear

5. I have a nose to smell

6. I have a tongue to taste

7. I have arms and hands so that I can touch

8. I have two legs so that I can walk

9. I have a God that gave this to me.

10. My mother who tried her best to teach me the right way.

11. A father who was a good bad example.

12. A junior high School teacher who taught me the love of theater.

13. Rick R. who was and is my friend since Junior High.

14. Donny H. for helping me to teach me that I really do have a temper.

15. Steve N a junior High and high school friend, that got me kicked out of High school by punching me in the nose for no reason and we then walked home together.

16. Ex wives who helped me with lessons I needed to learn to be a better husband

17. For all of my Uncles who gave me the visual of what an Alcoholic really is.

18. For another Uncle who managed time to take me fishing with him.

19. For S. who showed me that people who are different from me are ok.

20. J. who helped me learn about obsession

21. S. who helped me to learn about compulsion?

22. H. Who helped me to get through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous the first time?

23. B. who gave me lessons in how bad my anger can be Anger

24. C. helped me to learn about thinking before I speak.

25. C. who showed me how vindictive we can be as human beings.

26. C. taught me you cannot raise them the way you want them to be.

27. Learning that Family does have value beyond what I thought

28. G., who has taught me that real friends can go through anything and maintain a relationship.

29. R. helped me to understand that my picker has never really worked well.

30. R. Finally helped me understand what my sponsors kept telling me abstinence is a good

31. R. who showed me the insanity in my relationships

32. For my Children

33. for the time that I have been able to spend with them.

34. For the lessons in detachment they have taught me.

35. For the trials I have had in my life that have tempered me,

36. The trials that have taught me compassion

37. The lessons I have learned about Love

38. The lessons I have yet to learn about Love

39. For the degree of patience I have learned

40. For all those people who suggested I did not want to pray for patience.

41. For the people who told me to watch what I pray for.

42. For the relationship I have with God who I can call Jesus Christ and know that he

died for all the sins of the world.

43. For the Mormons that my mother sent us to church with, helped me to learn that

it was not anything I needed for me

44. For the Southern Baptist girl who took me to her fathers church, so that I could

learn that would not work for me.

45. For the Lutheran that I married and had to go to counseling and become a

Lutheran only to learn later that it would not work for me either.

46. For the Jewish woman I dated who helped me to see enough of that religion

to know I did not want that for me.

47. For the Pentecostal Churches who helped me to see it would not work for me.

48. For the independent Evangelical Churches who taught me it was not for me.

49. For the Methodist Church that taught me it was not for me.

50. For all of these churches that helped me to understand that I have a connection

with my God that is far better for me than I can get in a building.

51. Because of my spiritual beliefs I have been able to take a little bit from

all of these churches to develop something than works for me so that I sometimes refer to myself as multi-denominational.

52. For being able to live alone for three years and get okay with me, and

comfortable with that.

53. For the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and these things it has given me.

54. For the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and my Friends all over the world.

55. Sponsor D. who spent a lot of late nights and early mornings with me at a Denny’s

Restaurant trying to get me to understand that it was not all about me.

56. For Sponsor C who did not give up on me when I was using the revolving door.

57. For Sponsor DP who took me by the hand and led me through the steps and

taught me that it is the black on the white in the Big Book and there is no secret writing between the lines.

58. For my belief that DP is at the Big meeting and still checks in on his sponsees.

59. For Sponsor D. who put the thought in my head that if I did not get it right this

time I would have to come back and do it all over.

60. For the several suicide attempts that helped me to see that I have problems.

61. For my last attempt where I had to stop and ask myself what if there is a God.

At that point, I was able to say ok here I am and it is all yours however, you want

it to be.

62. for my first step and that I can accept my powerlessness, and the

unmanageability in My life

63. for step two and how it has been teaching me about the insanity in my life.

64. that there is a power grater than me, and I do not have to understand him,

just believe in him

65. Being able to have the power of choice that lets me turn my life and

will over to him.

66. That my Higher Power does allow me to take it back and see how bad

I can mess things up

67. for Step four because I learned by doing it from Capital letter to period that the truth would set me free

68. For Step five it taught me that I could trust my innermost thought with another Human being and not be judged for it.

69. That step six gave me the willingness to be rid of my defects of character a

little at a time because God knew I could not handle that all at once.

70. That step seven taught me the difference between humble and humiliation.

71. That in Step eight I was able to look at those I had harmed in a new and

different light

72. For Step nine in that it gave me the strength to face all of those I had harmed and make amends, by not just saying I am sorry, but being willing to do whatever was asked of me to make these relationships right.

73. For Step ten and my ability to look at each day, taking inventory and

admitting my faults.

74. For the fact that I can continue to improve my conscious contact with my

God and ask for direction in my life.

75. For the twelfth step and the many people it has brought into my life both

Those carrying the message to me as well as those that allowed me to try to

carry the message to them.

76. For the people who have showed me that I can stay sober regardless of

Anything that happens in my life.

77. For this number because it was the year I finally got serious about being sober.

78. For those members who came before me to insure that I had a way to recover.

79. For those who have come after me that insure that I still have a place to go.

80. Being able to move to this small community and be accepted.

81. That I can greet people with a smile and it is returned

82. For how I am respected in my community.

83. For the regular people that I can call friends

84. That I have a wife today that Loves me unconditionally.

85. That She has helped me to get a better understanding of family.

86. For an ornery old Father in law who has taught me many things

One of which is that you go to funerals for those that are left behind.

87. That He reaffirms to me that we never know when it is our number that is called.

88. for the many types of employment that I have had and the

experiences those jobs have given me

89. for a little round guy who refused to put on a Red Suit.

90. For the opportunity it gave me kicking all the way to put on the Red Suit.

91. For that first little girl that looked at me and melted my heart.

92. For a God who has allowed me to feel that heart.

93. For the ability to give of myself in this way.

94. For the fellowship that I have with other white bearded gentlemen.

95. For the ability to see that everything in my life has prepared me for what I

Am privileged to do today.

96. For the internet as it allows me to stay in touch with everyone else.

97. For my Friends in blogger land.

98. For the serendipitous relationships that have come into my life in the last year.

99. For my sister who has always been there good or bad without judgment.

100. For my life and everything that has happened in it as well as the things

that are yet to come.

"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you-until then."
p.164 Alcoholics Anonymous

HYPERSENSITIVITY

Good Morning my fellow blogging friends. Now I have to let out some of my secrets. I usually have a television setgoing in my home like some people have a radio or 8 track player going, just for a little background noise. That was secret number 1. I went for the vacum this morning to do a little cleaning. That is secret number 2, that I really do that kind of thing.

On the television I hear this lady saying that they have a DNA report now as well as the doctors report confirming that (cannot remember the name) has a hypersensitivity to alcohol, and that is why he cannot remember what happened that night.

All the time I am operating that loud noisy machine that statement is going through my head and would not leave. I finished my chores and went back to see which program was putting that information out. A&E's American Justice It was one of those no good worhtless @%*&#%*!!!@%&@*&%#@##$$$$$$$$ attorneys

The good news is I finally figured it out after almost 30 years, I'm not an alcoholic, I do not have blackouts, or any other kinds of living problems. I just have a hypersensitivity to alcohol, therefore I do not have to take responsibility for my actions. That really does sound so much better than alcoholic or drunk. This is taking PC way over the edge, it makes the twinkie defense sound like self defense, and therfore very legitimate.

Good morning my name is Tim and I am an alcoholic....... I have been getting my quotes the easy way, I have subscribed to get a new quote e-mailed to me every day. I usually copy and paste them in a notes section so that I can bring them up at a later time. The one that came through last night struck me in a strange way like I had never read it before. It let me know that no matter how many times we read the Big Book we can still see something new. Maybe this was just a statement that I did not want to see, I needed more than one meeting a week.
Those early guys were pretty tough going a week between meetings. I wonder if their fellowhip was stronger because of that.

I have found another fellowhip of men, where there is another overwheming sense of commaderie and bonding. I have not figured it out yet these guys are genuinely the happiest group of men I have ever been around in my life, it will be interesting for me to find out how this happened. I am sure that somewhere deep down this group of men were on a sinking ship together. A number of these men came to wear that red suit kicking screaming and fighting, I for one despised the Season. I felt it was a time for family and I had screwed up so much of my family through the years it was nothing I wanted to participate in. I could make Scrooge look like an amatuer. The day came when I had the opportunity to put on that red suit, I went down kicking. Put the suit on and started experiencing the metamorphasis, walked into that party and when that first child looked up at me I lierally melted .

I have always been one that would say in a meeting , it has to be about a step or staying sober. A big book thumper, I still am I have realized that living sober is about living life to it's fullest. So why am I talking about this here? If it had not been for Alcoholics Anonymous I would never have had the opportunity to put on that red suit. It has definitly given me a rich and meaningful purpose in life. I have found that I have laughed and cried more since putting on the red suit and it is all about the heart.

I will be in Denver the weekend of April 28th. I am in the process of putting together our first annual Rocky Mountain Red Suit Round Up, for that weekend. I hope to visit some of my blogger friends that weekend as well.

"Aside from fellowship and sociability, the prime object [for weekly meetings] was to provide a time and place where new people might bring their problems." p. 160 Alcoholics Anonymous

Happy Valentine's Day

Be My Valentine

Well Here I am I had a couple terrific ideas for this post.......I just can't get it to work the way I want it to though. people places and THINGS.

While watching some late and very late night TV I found out some interesting facts. 33% of the people don't even bother with buying stuff for Valentine's Day. Another portion of the guys bought there stuff last week. (because they forgot last year) Not sure about the rest.

As for me and my Sweetheart we feel that Valentines Day is just Like Christmas. The Love should go on all year round, just as the spirit of giving. So we will not be making a big deal out of today. For my Blogger friends without a sweetheart I am volunteering. So long as you know that the Love is really all around you.

Now for the kicker Santa is really upset

I thought this was an interesting way for the Jolly old Fat man could handle a problem.

"Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now." p.16 Alcoholics Anonymous

I REALLY DID IT THIS TIME

Got converted over to new blogger, changed my template and I like this one a lot more than what I was using. It so far it does not look like any of my blog contents changed. I forgot to mention that the blogger help that I mentioned in my previous post came from our friend in Maylaysa Noor Azman Othman It was very helpful. I still need to work on my website though and there is even more fear involved there.

"We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear." p.68 Alcoholics Anonymous

I DID IT

I went through and read all of my blogging buds post, without getting to far strayed. I foune out that there are a couple of sites set up for guys like me The Blogger Workshop and Dummies Guide to Blogger for Beginners So after reading through these I may decide that it is ok to switch over to the new blogger. I only spent about three hours on it which is good as I tend to go check too many other places while I am going through the post.

I say one someplace where they have their friends set up for different days of the week, maybe that is the way I should do it.

I think I am going to spend my afternoon working on building my new website. www.santacares.net I think that just describes what I do. I am still waiting to hear from Holiday world in SantaClaus, Indiana. I am praying for the big guys job there. I could handle May through Sept. employment


"...we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life." p.132 Alcoho,ics Anonymous

Looking for a place in the sun

Well I have not posted a pic for awhile and it is too late by minutes for hnt.

It would be nice to be this warm right now though

Spring is right around the corner.

BOTTLES WERE ONLY A SYMBOL

I really don't believe this, I am back to not sleeping I have been up all night again. Working on Articles of Inc. for an organization. I am beginning to believe that there is something else going on.
It may be time for me to do some inventory work, go inside and take another look at me. So I will pray for guidance. Then do some writing have probably let things go to long without this process.


"After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!" p.103 Alcoholics Anonymous

Super Day

Hope everyone enjoyed the big game today, and that there team won. I had no paticular interest in either team. It was a good game though even in the rain.


"When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically." p.64 Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous

JIBBERISH

I have not disappeared. I made my trip to California a couple weeks ago. Flew out had to leave on a Thursday and come back on Monday. All of that to have lunch with about 200 other Santa's. Both leaving and returning took about 13 hours of airports and planes each way. By the time I got there I was exhausted. Scared my host and myself the first night went to bed about midnight, he knocked on my door the next day at noon. I do not think I have ever done anything like that in my entire life. Sleeping 12 hours, he said the only reason he knocked was to make sure I was
all right, I think he was afraid he was going to have to come into a cold body.

The rest of the stay was good, slept somewhat more normal. We manged to do some other things while I was there and spent a lot of time visiting and sharing Santa stuff on a one to one basis. I was going to try to get together with Sober Chick and her Super Great Guy, but I really had no time. So I have been home for 10 days and have not been able to sleep more than 2 to 3 hours a night. Feeling tired for some reason. It is like when I sobered up they told me that no one ever died from lack of sleep. The Santa group that I went to the luncheon with was the same one that had the convention last summer.

A decision was made that we needed to get organized so they started out making me the NW regional director (no big deal) other than the fact that the area went from Oregon to Wisconsin from Wyoming north through Canada.

Then after 2 conference call board meeting I was made secretary and we changed regions from four to six. Now my region is just all of the Mountain time zone from New Mexico through Canada. I like that better it means that I will have an excuse(or another reason) to go to Colorado more often.

This has just been a bunch of jibberish no reason just stuff. The best part is that life is good.

"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you-until then." p.164

Service

I am not sure of what to post. I have been trying to look at some different things to build a new website and have done a lot of web surfing in the process. Looking at other sites and getting ideas.

I am trying a new web browser Mozilla Firefox it is supposed to be better than internet exlplorer so I should know in a week or two. Some of the discussions I have seen have a lot of good things to say about it.

I am trying to get excited about my new website, Santa Cares somehow it is a better description of what it is I am doing with my life. I did come across a page with a lot of quotes from other people and found some that I really liked so I will be sharing some of them here for awhile. Most of these seem to fit how I feel about different topics. Service is an important part of my life so I really like what Al had to say about it.

“Only a life in the service of others is worth living.”

Albert Einstein

CRANIAL RECTAL INVERSION

Yep that's what I had going on. I had a plane ticket and made arrangements to be going to So. California in the morning. Yesterday I was talking to another white bearded gentlemen in a red suit, when he asked why I was coming out so early. I thought we were having our luncheon on the Queen Mary this Sunday. I was able to catch everything in time to get the ticket changed without penalty. So now I will wait and leave here next week for our luncheon.

One of the good parts about this is I may have the opportunity to meet Sober Chick and that awesome guy she keeps telling us about. That would be nice.

Now I am going to get long winded in my response to MC's post today. According to what they start out with I better say that in one week 7 short days with the grace of God and the fellowship I will have 350 months. I know that each group is autonomous and in different parts of the country meetings are always a little different and have their own idiosyncrasies. Sometimes that envelope gets pushed. Like in this case it is almost like they are saying the ol timers don't have anything to say, or they don't need to be picking a topic. In my observations at meetings most of the time the ol timers let the newer members pick a topic, it is like the second moment of silence then someone comes up with a topic.

Now I can understand the cross talk thing, I don't recall much of that ever happening when I finally got sober. These days though it seems to have become common place, almost like sitting in group therapy. The problem I have with the new statement that is being read is that it is almost the same as saying I cannot share my experience and hope, when I see someone that is going through what I have I think it is like my duty to share what I did. That is not giving advice it is just me sharing what or how I acted or reacted good or bad in a similar experience.
If it was something that would take more than a couple minutes I might share after the meeting.

I never felt like anyone's safety was in jeopardy or mine when these things have happened.

Now for my experience, I was probably in my first year of sobriety at a one hour noon meeting.
The chairperson was a long timer, he read from the fifth chapter out of the book, not a sheet of paper( just one of my pet peeves because no one sees the big book and where the information is coming from). Then this guy went through the standards new people, out of towners, and topic. In a room with about 30 people in it no one had a topic so he started talking, and talking, and talking, he finally tagged someone and they passed, so he started in again with about 3 minutes left in the meeting he asked if anyone had a burning desire. Of course I did. My statement was brief and to the point. "You know we tell the newcomers to take the cotton out of their ears and put it in their mouth, it is my opinion that maybe we should tell that to some old timers as well. Then the meeting was closed. Several people came up and said I can't believe you said that, but I am glad you did.

What that has done for me has helped me to try to keep track of how much time I share, and know deep down inside that I do not have all the answers. The group conscience will decide what they think is best. The third tradition says the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. It does not say anything about all these extra little rules. It seems that a lot of meetings these days takes up a lot of time in the beginning telling us what we can and cannot do. My home group I just finally accepted that it is the way things are today.

I am sure that in the end Gods Will, will be done. Enough ranting.

"At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us." p.77 Alcoholics Anonymous The Big Book

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Wow I don't know how for sure that we are going to make it, but I am flying out to Burbank, Ca. on Thursday. For a 4 hour luncheon on the Queen Mary in Longbeach with a couple hundred other bearded gentlmen on Sunday. I am going to stay with another SC in get this Santa Clarita.

One of the ladies at the salon I go to was able to score me another buddy pass. The only problem with that is they tell you when you are flying. That is why I have to leave so early. It is all standby so I am going to run the risk of getting bumped but that is alright with me.

This will be the 14th annual luncheon. It started with 12 guys who had done a commercial and I think they are expecting almost as many for lunch as we had at the convention last July. The interesting part of this is the location. Long Beach will never be the same.

Maybe I will have an opportunity to catch a meeting or connect with some other bloggers out in that part of the world.


"When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!" p.57 Alcoholics Anonymous

MAY THIEVES COME TO STEAL YOUR DEBTS

Happy New Year to all of my blogging friends. Here is to everyone having a better year than last year. May we all stay sober one day at a time. I was sent this by another SC friend and I like it so much I wanted to share it with all of you.

My Wish for You in 2007
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words ............
May 2007 be the best year of your life!!!

"When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically." p.64 Alcoholics Anonymous

LEARNING LESSONS

With all that I have been doing, I still have some things to learn.
A few months ago one of the grade school teachers asked if I would answer letters to SC. I agreed so I have just finished answering 34 letters from first and second graders. I will comment more on them in my other blog. I have a google alert set up for anything that comes up on the internet on JOE ( jolly ol elf) well this one came up and I wanted to share it here.

Santa Claus Boot Camp


Now everyone knows that there is more to it than just being another pretty face.

"In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle." p.86 Alcoholics Anonymous

IT IS MY TIME OF YEAR

This really is my time of year. I have been busy doing what seems like nothing. I am only making 4 calls a day. Still trying to book some visits. I was able to get a commercial for a local Milk company. 2 hours to shoot a 30 second spot. It could have been done faster if they would have just had about 30 cameras set up. Kept wanting different angles.

Finally got a party to do that was the best. 30 kids and 20 adults in one house and still plenty of room. It sure appeared to me to be a normal kind of household whatever that is. I ran into a youg fella yesterday downtown and gave him one of my photo cards. This morning my telephone starts ringing real early for me. There is a radio station if GF looking for me, SC and a lot of people knew who it was so they called me and then I called the radio station. A crazy morning drive time pair of DJ's They paly music and talk. So next Wednesday I have to show up at the station at 6:30 AM and take calls from children or visit with them in the studio. I just need to make sure I am awake mentally that early in the morning.

It is only 11 more days then I will take a break. Some time for me.
I have recently changed my website hosting service so my whole internet thing has been a mess. I was able to build a temporary first page. Just very simple, I will be trying to fugure out how to make some real nice pages and hopefully before long have a great web site.

I really have been given a design for living.


"What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, 'a design for living' that really works." p.28

What a Breakfast

We had a busy weekend Breakfast with the Jolly old Fat man. We fed about 150 and raised some money for the S ----America organization. It kept a lot of people busy. The book that I posed for the publisher has moved a blog over to here and off of myspace http://www.miracleatcabbageheadpass.blogspot.com/
I would like to ask everyone to check it out. They will be telling the serendiotous story of how everyone got together and the process for publishing this book. it could make for some interesting reading.

My Growing into understanding and effectivesness has taken a long time. I pray daily that I may serve my fellows. I guess you could say I celebrated my 29th Anniversary in the fellowship, by having breakfast with a bunch of other people, I did feel as though I was being a useful part of society. even though we celebrated a day late.

"We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime." p.84 Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous.

I HAVE NOT DISAPEARED

It was hard to believe that I had not posted anything since Halloween. Our new websites have been keeping me busy one the elf in Phoenix has been working on the grapics and design stuff , my job was to critique edit and say we need this or it was too much of that. It is out there and I think we have something there that will be good for the general public looking for SC to show up for different things (parties, home visits) as well as helping other SC's it can be found at www.justbec_ _ _ _.net you will have to fill in the blank it is easy it is the second part of SC.

Our other site that some college students were supposed to have the data base worked out for us as what they were doing for a computer class. Unfortunately I think they all flunked out the course. So a couple Elfs down in Phoenix started putting some things together so that it will all work as it was a commited site for a charity. So again I was editing and critiquing again. Finally last Friday we launched it. www.igotacallfroms_n_t_.com again fill in the blank.

I have since done two different television news interviews and another one in the morning when we have our breakfast with SC. A benefit for S_n_t_ -America.org . A couple weeks ago I was interviewed by a reporter from time magazine about being SC if it gets printed I will be surprised, it is just going to be in the subscription one not the newstand edition.

I have been busy and now we are coming into my time of year, so most of my blogging will probably be on my other blog.

I still have to remember for myself that God is in everything and all that I do. I came to this fellowship and found God, in my humble opinion I believe that he brought me out of the depths of hell, so that I may help others to smile, even when times are tough.


"Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, 'Who, then, made all this?' There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost." p.46 Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

I am trying to use this new blog it button  on the msn toolbar.  My time will start gearing up tommorrow after all of the goblins are gone.

I am really wanting to try out a couple of the features. My partner in Phoenix and I have  our joint ventured website launched. He has the design savvy I just tell him what I think about what he does, and make suggestions.  It can be found at JBC  well so far that one works.  Let me try another one of those.  This is my SC website it is in desperate need of work and we will start on that I guess sometime after we can draw a breath  IBISC I would really like to invite all of my blogging friends. to visit these sites.   I am  still trying to update my other blog  SC Adventures Wow if this works I will be very happy. Now we will go for a picture nothing special just a pic.  

Well that is not going to work yet it seems I need to figure out how to set up some kind of ftp file and put my pictures in it.  The people I have my website hosted with were not much help.  So I will go back to the drawing board for that one.

I have had a  few people ask what the goo was  in last weeks HNT photo and for those who di not want to ask I will let  all in on it.  It was a hair gel came off pretty easy. It was there to represent frozen reindeer snot. (is to)  A phase that SC had to go through for the illustrator of the book.

"I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray" Dr. W.D. Silkworth, M.D. p. xxx The Doctors Opinion, Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous.

FULL LIFE

I have looked back at my life since I got to the program, and I wonder how I could have had the time to drink. One of the questions I have heard newcomers ask is what will I do with my time?
I have always been able to tell them that they will find there just are not enough hours in a day once we get sober.

There are so many things I would like to get done, and just so much time to do it in. I do know though that if I were to get called home, I will have done all that has been required of me. That I have had a very rich and rewarding life. For me that brings on a sense of peace and helps me to slow down and enjoy what is going on at this moment.

I have thought about doing up one of those list of things I want to do in my life time like a top 100 thing, and maybe someday I will. I think (thats the problem) that I will get done just what God has in store.


"We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men." p.46 Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous

SOMETHING RARE

What do yyou know I posted one to HNT. It does look kind of Scarey. My attempt at getting into the Halloween spirit. Some nasty stuff running off of this guys face. Other than that goo, I think I used to look something like that when I would get angry. That is in the past for me.


"We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease." p.75 Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous

AN OLD DOG CAN LEARN NEW TRICKS

Well it took a while to get it to upload finally put it in gif format to get it to work. I was able to put the frame - border on thanks to Sober Chick. She e-mailed me the instructions. There are so many things going on right now. I am finding out just how small our world really is.....right Carly.


I have not posted as I wanted to get this photo on here after the help I received.

I went to the one theatre in G.F. last night saw Man of the Year. It was pretty good some great lines in it. Any way I spoke with the Asst. Mgr. about whether there were going to have a SC there for the opening of SC 3 the escape clause. Turns out they are wanting one and I just spoke to the manager on the phone and he is going to try to get his boss to go for Friday night Saturday and Sunday. Should know by Tuesday.


"We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs." p.18 Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous

Where does the time go

It is hard for me to imagine that it has been so long since I have posted. I was able to have lunch with Anonymous Biker and his Mom, it was very pleasant and I think his Mom must know everybody in Montana.

I have been busy trying to get some things set up for that special breakfast and reception in November. Basically I have just been proofing the things that are getting printed. I finallly bit the bullet and ordered some SC trading cards today. I had to work on the design and had problems getting photo shop to do what I wanted. A learning curve problem. Having something printed up today though is very easy create it in the computer and send it to the printing company. You just pick it up when it is done.

I have been able to get to a few meetings. In between visiting the hospital and my special friend Josie. She finally went home Friday afternoon, to work on improvement so that she can get to a rehab unit. probably Craig in Denver. I will be going by to see her at home until then anyway.

THERE IS A PARTY GOING ON

Hey everyone Carly is celebrating her First birthday. I don't know for sure how to cross link to Lush for Life. http://lush4life.blogspot.com/but I am sure all will be able to find her. I have my expresso machine set up, with Starbucks coffee and a variety of flavors so go on over and get your favorite and help Carly celebrate.


On another note the book that I did some modeling for has a my space spot to keep people up to date on what is going on. There are some pics there as well as a brief interview with the Author can be found at the following spot
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=94205098

If you get a chance stop by and check it out.

EXPECTATIONS

My level of serenity is in direct proportion to my expectations. This last week my level of expectation of myself has been out of whack. I was expecting myself to be in a better spot that I was in. So my level of serenity went down. It is pretty bad when the committee in my head was able to go into session and I just let it keep going without calling an adjournment. The lifestyle I have come to live the thought of drinking did not come up. I still have to be aware though and not become over confident, resting on my laurels can be a bad idea.


I finally said it was enough and closed the committee down. Then I had to get some rest.

So this shot is a little better than the previous pic. My friends Ang & Dan thought I should put in a better one. These are for the artist who is illustrating the book. I am excited to see how it all come out. I just know the story is incredible.

I was asked to go to a radio station and record two 30 second commercials for a coloring contest to win breakfast with SC. By the time we came up with the ad copy figured out the equipment and got the ads done it was two hours. It may be that I will get to do more commercials for the station. That could be a lot of fun.

"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame"

The Big book page 84.

COOL BEANS

I was introduced to a new coffee shop this week. I have had to be in town every morning this week so far so I have been there for coffee. Big comfortable chairs and sofas, they almost encourage people to bring in their laptops and plug in. They have Wi Fi and it is very nice not like a starbucks just real cozy. Coffee is good and they even have free refills. I have found a new home away from home when I need to wait for my wife to get off work.

This is one of the photos that was taken last week during our shoot. It will depict SC climbing over the toybag looking for some maps in the book. I still don't understand why he needed that view for illustrating.

RECENT COMMENTS

Last week I recieved another comment from a lady saying how wrong the AA program is. How ever this time it was not anonymous so I was able to check her blog. It appeared to me that she is rather radical, and she is just picking on everyone. I just last week started to moderate my blog, did not know why for sure now I do. I was able to decide not to publish her comments, it just did not seem right for me to have all of those negative comments here.

It did have me thinking I should just stop blogging. Then I just figured that life is too short to let someone like that keep me from what I enjoy doing. What I need to do is just pray for her.

"Contempt prior to investigation will keep a man in everlasting ignorance" this quote is in the Big Book I just didn't have time to find the page.

Last week I was able to meet with the publishers, then the next day we started taking photos. Over the next 3 days they managed to get over 600 pics. Some make SC look real good some make him look real bad.

I will have fun sorting through them.

RED FRIDAYS

So MC thinks I have been taking writing lessons from Trudge. So I think this will make up for it, This evening I get to meet the publishers of the book that I get to model for. It should be real interesting I have an agent who thinks this should be my gold mine, I really don't care I just think it will be something I can get paid for my time on. I don't need to worry about it going much past that.

Today I am doing well with life and the things that come and go. I did find the following and thought this might be an ok place to share it. It touchd me, but it also deals with my favorite color.

Last week, while traveling to Chicago on business, I noticed a Marine sergeant traveling with a folded flag, but did not put two and two together. After we boarded our flight, I turned to the sergeant, who'd been invited to sit in First Class (across from me), and inquired if he was heading home. No, he responded. Heading out I asked? No. I'm escorting a soldier home. Going to pick him up? No. He is with me right now. He was killed in Iraq. I'm taking him home to his family.

The realization of what he had been asked to do hit me like a punch to the gut. It was an honor for him. He told me that, although he didn't know the soldier, he had delivered the news of his passing to the soldier's family and felt as if he knew them after many conversations in so few days. I turned back to him, extended my hand, and said, Thank you. Thank you for doing what you do so my family and I can do what we do.

Upon landing in Chicago the pilot stopped short of the gate and made the following announcement over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to note that we have had the honor of having Sergeant Steeley of the United States Marine Corps join us on this flight. He is escorting a fallen comrade back home to his family. I ask that you please remain in your seats when we open the forward door to allow Sergeant Steeley to deplane and receive his fellow soldier. We will then turn off the seat belt sign." Without a sound, all went as requested. I noticed the sergeant saluting the casket as it was brought off the plane, and his action made me realize that I am proud to be an American.

So here's a public Thank You to our military Men and Women for what you do so we can live the way we do. signed: Stuart Margel -- Washington, D.C. Also, here are two very touching photos honored at this years International Picture of the year. First PlaceTodd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News When 2nd Lt. James Cathey's body arrived at the Reno Airport , Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac. During the arrival of another Marine's casket last year at Denver International Airport , Major Steve Beck described the scene as so powerful: "See the people in the windows? They sat right there in the plane, watching those Marines. You gotta wonder what's going through their minds, knowing that they're on the plane that brought him home," he said. "They will remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. They're going to remember bringing that Marine home. And they should”. Second PlaceTodd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News.
The night before the burial of her husband's body, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of 'Cat,' and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. "I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it," she said. "I think that's what he would have wanted

No arsenal, no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women." -- Ronald Reagan - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Red Fridays. Very soon, you will see a great many people wearingRed every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent majority." We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love forGod, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing. Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends,simply want to recognize that the vast majority ofAmerica supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity andrespect starts this Friday -- and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that ... every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar, will wear something red. By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If everyone of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once "silent" majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on. The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is ...."We need your support and your prayers." Let's get the word ou tand lead with class and dignity, by example, and wear something red every Friday.

It just seemed like a good idea. That way at least on Fridays I won't stand out as much.

TODAY

Some one once said that you can measure a mans wealth by the number of friends he has. Today I know that Bill Gates has nothing on me.

LIFE

The best of life is the experience, the most precious thing we we keep is the memories.

MY CUP TRULY RUNNETH OVER

I have said many times in the past that as soon as you say you have humility you have lost it. Today how ever I believe I am getting an idea of what being truly humbled is. It has nothing to do with humiliation maybe now is the time I should get out a dictionary but that would just interrupt the feeling I have today.

Today I have found that my God really does have a purpose for me in this life. Today right now my life is in his hands and I know I am not in charge.
Today my financial state is a mess, and I am relying and trusting in God.
Today I have a sense of peace snd direction.
Today I am aware that we really have no idea how many lives we touch.
Today I can see where I have been and how my life has changed.
Today I have I am filled with Love Joy and Hope.
Today I know that I may forget these things tommorrow.
Today I must always remember where this journey started.

From Chapter 7 Working With Others (variou pages

The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.

When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!

Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.

INTROSPECTION

Going through this Hospice training makes a person stop and think about my own mortality. I am learning a great deal about the process and it has been good for me to be able to learn.

I have been visiting a young lady and her family the past three weeks, she was in a bad accident and had some bad head injuries. Today she opened up her eyes and seemed to respond, it was so neat to see her progress. I probably should have asked my fellow bloggers before this for some extra prayers but I will ask now. She may be going to Craig Rehabilitation in Denver if she makes enough progress. Her mom seems to be real glad that I have been going up for visits and I told her today that if she goes to Denver I may have to try to plan a trip or two down to see her for some follow up.

Her family has put up a web site to let others know about her progress, and people can even leave comments for her. Mom reads all of them to her for encouragement and I think it is neat. I know it has nothing to do with the kind of recovery we talk about here but I am going to give you all the address in case some of you get bored
and want to check it out. http://www.josi.mertonslair.com/

It seems that ol SC has found a real promoter and she plans on keeping me busy. She has planned a breakfast with SC and has lined up some big time sponsors, she gave me this information today as well as my first paying booking for this year. I am really jumping off the deep end with what I am doing with SC this year.

No more big checks and no more dealing with Photo companies just out for the buck. The best part of it is I am feeling good about it.

Today I am grateful for all that makes up my life.

THE DAY OUR WORLD CHANGED

What have I been doing! I feel lik I have been spending far too many hours on this computer and not posting to this page. I have been working with my friens in Phoenix trying to get our SC web site up. We were going to launch it last week. Well we finally made it public Saturday. Still working on some revisions and trying to get some holes filled in. This is a shortened version of where it can be found if you understand what C stands for justbeC .net

We have been working on this thing for months along with a couple other projects. I started training for Hospice volunteering last week. It has been an eye opening experience to say the least. I still have three more weeks of this on Tuesdays and Fridays. I have been doing more hospital visits as well. It seems like I have become a regular fixture there.

So this morning I thought I would watch the replay of the Today show from 5 years ago, on MSNBC. I could not stand to watch the whole thing it was a very tragic day in our history, one that I will never forget. I remember waking up that morning and hearing on the radio that a plane hit the world trade center. So I turned on the television and I think I stayed glued to it for several days. Mrs C was in the shower when the second plane hit, and I remember going in and telling her that it is no accident another plane has hit and we are being attacked.

It is one of those things where you will always remember what you were doing and where you were at when it happened. Well I plan to move on to more pleasant things for the rest of my day. I will not promise to post more I will just do it as often as I can make it happen.

WITHOUT A TITLE?

I can hardly believe all the things that are going on in my life. I am finding free time at a premium it seems. I am trying to keep up with my fellow bloggers and it seems that I get so far behind.

Then I get comments like some of the others about how non Christian AA is. It is just that I live in a country that gives me the freedom of choice and a lot of men have died to make sure that I have these freedoms. Somehow I don't think that means that I have the right to critisize some one else's choices. I should not even let this bother me I should be bigger than that. Maybe the problem I really have with it is that the comment was annonymous so there is no way to respond. RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT.

I still let things bug me but that is life. It all just takes more practice at applying the principles in my life. That is enough for now I want to check up on some other bloggers.

10,500 DAYS

The last fifteen years of my life have been rich and meaningful. I have had my share of of problems, heartaches, and disappointments because that is life, but also I have known a great deal of joy and peace that is the handmaiden of an inner freedom. I have a wealth of friends and with my A.A. friends, an unusual quality of fellowship. For, to these people, I am truly related. First through mutual pain and despair, and later through mutual objectives and a newfound faith and hope. And, as the years go by, working together, sharing our experiences with one another, and also sharing a mutual trust, understanding, and love-- without strings, without obligation--we acquire relationships that are unique and priceless.

There is no more aloneness, with that awful ache, so deep in the heart of every alcoholic that nothing, before could ever reach it. That ache is gone and never need return again.

Now there is a sense of belonging, of being wanted and needed and loved. In return for a bottle and a hangover, we have been given the Keys of the Kingdom.

Alcoholics Annonymous page 276 Keys to the Kingdom.

A new milestone came today 10,500 one day at a times, and yet in a lot of respects it feels like the first 90. I know that I can remember my last drunk like it was yesterday. Nothing I want to go through again.

I was able to get back home last night the 68 degrees sure felt good. I have had to catch up on a little sleep if that is possble. It seemed like there were too many things going on down there and shutting down my mind took up a lot of normal sleep time.

Now it's time to check out some of my fellow bloggers.

Arizona

I have been very remiss in my postings lately. I was able to get a great deal on my flight to Phoenix, so I flew down here on the ninth. Just one day before all the new big buzz on higher security and no liquids. I was very happy that all the mess waited until I left as I had originally planned on leaving on the 10th. So I will be heading home on the 16th.

We have been working on a thing for all SC's. This is something my friend here in Phoenix and I have been working on for about 6 months and so far it is looking like we will launch this site by the 15th. I have been trying to get to a meeting here it looks like I will try to get that done tommorrow some time. We have been busy building and reviewing web pages for our new site.

It will be nice to get home where I will be meeting with another SC who has been doing it for 54 years. Then the next day I start up with a publisher and illustrator. Things have just been going so well since my trip to Branson, it is almost unbelievable.

My friend says we can do well by doing good. So we will see whats going on.

It has been very hot I really prefer the North Pole.

BUSY STATE FAIR

I have been very busy at our State Fair. They gave me passes about $170.00 dollars with so I just walk around as SC and talk to children and hand out a card with Photo on it and tell the children I am on a working vacation checking the naughty and nice list. I can see more people all at once at the fair it is easier than just doing it one at a time. I still have two more days it has been busy staying out late waking up late and then it is almost a rush to get back there. It seems that so many good things are happening with us being at the fair I will have to do up dates later.

Acceptance

"Acceptance"
From the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book
Pp 449, 450,451. A. A. World Service, 1976, N. Y.
"And acceptance is the answer to *all* my problems. today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation---some fact of my life---unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake..."

This day has been good. I had to go to the cop shop for a backround check, so that I can volunteer at the hospice. The form asked for any aliases so I just had to put down SC. I had the poor gal who was doing the background check scratching her head and confused when I handed her my NP drivers license. I finally had to tell her that I had the other one.

One of the young men I visit on Christmas day did a velvet painting of SC and his voc rehab coulselor gave it to me today.

Then I took Mrs. C to meet with the Artist (illustrator) Brian Morger. We sat and talked for over 3 hours, it was almost as if we had known each other for such a long time. He decided that he wanted to use Mrs. C as a model for the illustrations as well, he said she made a great Mrs. C. I think she is too tall and thin for the roll but she is perfect for me. So now that we have talked he is going to let the publisher of this book know that he does want to use me and then find out how they want to pay me. I don't want to be concerned about the money so I will just have them call my agent in AZ. and discuss the details with him.

One of his paintings that did real well was of an old 50's style drive in burger joint with car hops. He said that since he had done that one a summer time painting, he has wanted to do one similar as a winter scheme with SC in a red 1958 Cadilac convertible. He wants to use me for that project as well. How cool is this, but for now it is all just talk to me so I will not put any expectations on it.

He was in Branson at the same time I was, he was working with the author and the publishers. Had he been able to contact me then I would have been with them as well. The book has a great story line, and the publisher think it will be the next polar express. Just the story wants me to be a part of it all.

This is all way too much for me. Especially after MC's birthday party. I ate way too many desserts. Then she had to mention her fight with the clown, now someone else wants to hear the story. But they will have to get that from her. I will say she got the best of the clown though.

FAEA

THE VACATION COMES TO AN END

It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen with you. Should you wish them above all else, and be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. The age of miracles is till with us. Our own recovery proves that!
Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions. Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march on. They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out. Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter 11 A vision for you

So in Cheyenne I drive past my one of my usual motels where I can accumulate points towards another stay. I did not understand this, I drove next door and spent more than I normally would for a room. Something a little nicer, it was a nice comfortable room and had high speed internet for my laptop. We got another good nights sleep and the next morning Mrs. C went down to the breakffast bar then came right back up to tell me the place was full of little ones. I just had to get down there and it was funny how it worked out. I was able to get some food on a plate and sat down then I got swarmed, you would have thought I had started a riot. The hotel manager came over and let me know she was a real SC fan, so she called the local paper to let them know SC was there in July.

I visited with several children and moms and dads took photos, I let them know they had to take one for me as well. There were some senior citizens who had to get a pic with SC so they could show there grand children. One couple that was there was just watching and I could tell she wanted a pic as well. I invited her over and she said her husband told her that I really did not need anymore hassles. I let him know that it was what I do and he could go get his camera and take a photo for her. There was one little girl who just kept coming up for hugs, and we finally got a photo of her with mom & dad.

Then the motel owner got a bunch of the employees together so they could get a photo for there C cards. Then the paper sent in their photographer and he probably took 30 or 40 pics. It was such a kick. One young man probably about 20 or so said he had a special question so we found a quiet place and he said he wanted to change someone else. A young lady that he wanted to like him, I had to tell him that there was no way to change another person that the only one we could change was ourselves. He walked away a little disapointed but seemed to understand.

Now we are an hour late checking out and everyone there had a good time. Most of the people there left at least an hour before we did. Down the road we go and about 100 miles later it is time for the pit stop. As we are getting out of the car the little girl who kept coming up for hugs came up for another one. We went inside and as we were leaving the one who did not want to bother me was coming in with his wife. I have no idea how I got there as fast as I did maybe it was the lead foot SC returning.

We finally got home about 11:00 p.m. the car quit again in Billings, it just does not like long distances in the heat. My poor pooch sure had missed us, he had dog food all over the house had taken the comforter off our bed and tore some of the drywall and molding off the back door. Not to mention the soft toy that squeaked had been destroyed. We did get advance notice of these things from my father in law, so out of guilt we managed to purchase several new toys for him on our way home.

Mrs C listened to the answering machine while I unloaded the car. She deleted most of the messages and kept a few of mine. She gave me a run down of who had called and one call was from some illustrator who had been in Branson at the same time I was and could not find me there but wanted to talk to me. The next morning I went through the messages and the illustrator just happened to be a very well known artist here in Big Sky country, he has a deal with a publisher to illustrate a book and wants to use me as a model. He had seen me earlier this year at a car show but someone else was bending his ear and he was not able to catch me. Then the article came out in the paper and he figured out who I was. So I will be having lunch with him on Wednesday.

So now to catch up to now today I finally got to talk to the volunteer coordinator at the hospice and I will start a 36 hour training class September 5th. I have emptied out a bedroom and it is being turned into a den. My son got out of Jail on the 15th and his PO gave me a telephone number for him and after leaving about 10 messages he finally called me back and said he has decided to stay in Minnesota. Claims he wants to stand up and take responsibility for himself. Our conversation was not very calm and soothing, I really lost it and confronted him with some things and he wound up hanging up on me. I have just decided we did the best we could for him and now he is on his own. I am going to do my best to be tough about it all and not worry about what he does.

I need to get over to MC's for the second time around the dessert table. 22 years is awesome I sent her an e-mail earlier today and told her it did not seem like it was that long ago, but children and grandchildren disprove that. Happy 22nd MC FAEA

NOT REAL FAST BUT FURIOUS

We have shown how we got out from under. You say, "Yes, I'm willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?"
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you.

Alcoholics Anonymous chapter 11 A vision for you

What a trip we had 3,545 miles door to door. We had such great host and hostesses during the last part of our vacation. My sis and her guy were so neat to us. Then my buddy Chuck and his wife were just wonderful.

So we drove up to Denver and I called everyone I wanted to visit with on my way. When I called for MC who was to be the first she was on the other side of town swimming and said she needed to go home before we could get together. So I headed for Arvada and missed the turn wound up taking an exit near Lakeside Amusement Park. I thought we would stop long enough to just take a couple photos. The car quit again so I knew it was just a matter of letting it sit for awhile. One of the electronic sensors was getting hot and it needed time to cool off. So we decided to just take a quick tour of the park. Rode the merry go round and then went for the roller coaster. This is an old wooden coaster that looked old and decrepit when I was a child, it was neat to ride it again. There are other stories to tell about Lakeside some other time.

It amazes me how when you have been away from where you grew up you remember so many things when you go back. So I tried to take photos so that I will have some of those memories on my computer.

The car cooled down and we finally made it to J & A's. MC called and I decide that we would all go to an Gunther Tooties it a old fashioned 50's style diner and just a fun place. None of them had met Mrs. C yet, so it was nice to be able to share the lady who makes my world go round with my friends from times past. There were a lot of photos and a lot more laughter and reminiscing. That will be one of those times that will go into my memory as more than just a passing moment. Then J & A took me to purchase a new sensor for my car so the rest of our trip would not be slowed down.

Now it was off to Brighton, went by the roller skating rink that I spent a great deal of time at in my early teens. Again I just wanted to take a few photos, and they were open so I thought we would go in for a bit. Not a whole lot was different. The three big trees that hold up the roof going down the middle of the rink are still something to see. The cemetery is just around the corner so we stopped by my Mom's grave for a moment.

Now to Chucks we visited a little before going to a meeting and then out for a late dinner. They invited us to spend the night and use of the hot tub. I was ready for that the go cart ride in Branson had done a number on me then the roller coaster did me in. Chucks wife told us she was with some mentally handicapped adults when I had called earlier and she told them that SC was coming to her house and would be spending the night. They then told us that one would be having her 50th birthday party the next day at 5:00 p.m. and that we were invited if we wanted to stay that long. Mrs. C knew that we would be hanging around for it even though our plan was to leave earlier than that. I just could not pass up the opportunity to visit with some special people.

Mrs. C wanted to go to church the next morning so she looked one up in the phone book and told me this is the one she wanted to go to. The pastor there had gone to school to become a pastor in Montana and she knew him. So while she went to church I went to locate my brother and go to a meeting. Well the locate did not work until after church.

I had heard that my brother had been sober for a while so I wanted to see for myself. When we got to his place he was sitting in a chair with oxygen smoking a cigarette. He had been in the hospital and had 5 stints put in his heart or something like that. So he asked me if I was there to see him before he died and I said I was because I would not be coming back for a funeral. Well he had not been sober he claimed to have just one shot a day would eat then go to bed. Now if that is true he is doing some serious controlled drinking. That is another story all together one that is too long for here. We did not spend much time there. Went to Chucks and just relaxed until party time.

The birthday party was so cool there must have been at least eight of my special friends there and they were all so excited to see SC show up. I was able to have nice long visits with each of them and we did not get out of there until 9:00 p.m. We then drove as far as Cheyenne that night and I will tell that story in my next post.

"How is that to come about?" you ask. "Where am I to find these people?"

You are going to meet these new friends in your own community. Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen with you. Should you wish them above all else, and be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. The age of miracles is till with us. Our own recovery proves that!

Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous chapter 11

IT IS DONE

It came to a grand creschendo Sunday afternoon. Darin Romeo was going to make it snow at a new outdoor mall here, but for some reason the Lennon Sisters came for the parade and sang some songs. Yes another parade after our closing session. Got some neat pics. This has been yet another crazy week.

Left Branson Monday around 5:30 drove to Eureka Springs, Arkansas spent the night there. I had been told there was a great meeting and club house in Muskogee, Ok. I swear that town is really anonymous. I know how to find an AA meeting and there was no place listed in the phone book or paper or anywhere. So off we went to Cement Ok. to visit with an uncle that I do not think I had seen in 30 years. It was nice to sit and catch up I think we both talked non stop and by the next day at noon we were as caught up as we could get for the time being.

Then we headed to Trinidad, Co. It was late we we got there. Number 1 son was still working so I met his lady and the 2 girls, one is her daughter and the other is supposed to be my grandaughter. I decided before I left that I could handle having them both as grandaughters. So I showed up thinking I was going to get one grandaughter and one grandson on the way (July 25th). I was reminded then of a granddaughter from #1 son about 17 years ago.

Cool huh I have 3 grand daughters and a grandson on the way. I can live with that. doesn't make me too old. Then I am told of the children that estranged sons #2 & #3 have. Number 2 has one son, number 3 has 3 daughters and is a Baptist preacher in Colorado. Then number 1 son says he had sewed some wild oats and there is another grandson about 14. They need to figure out what causes that stuff and stop doing it. So now even though all of these relationship are very poor with all six of my sons. I find out that I am a grandpa NINE times as of July 25th. I am not that old. It would be nice to have those relationships mended. I am sure that it would be far too confusing for them to find out that granpa is really SC. Which brings me back to the introduction I had with the grand daughter who will be 3 in Oct. she would chand from calling me SC to grandpa at her discretion. We finally decided I could be Grandpa SC.

So that visit is finished and I have a high school friend and his wife who live there as well so I went to see them. He has not hardly changed maybe ten pounds around the gut and a few grey hairs but still the same. His wife on the other hand has got a lot prettier. It was a great visit and his wife filled me in on what all 3 of the boys had been doing. A Baptist preacher I never would have thought.

So visit all over and we move on up the highway to Colo. Springs. our first night here my niece her husband and my great nephew show up at my sis's place. Her guy cooked a great dinner and we all had a nice visit. I opted out of an early morning trip to Denver so I could spend some quality time with my sis. I told her that Friday would be a day for us to really act like tourist. Mrs C and sis started out the day with a pedicure, then we went to the North Pole, now that confusedsome people there mainly the workers because I am sure they thought the real SC (me) had just walked in the door. Then a little walk in Manitou, a visit to the Broadmoore Hotel, still a grand place to stay if a person can afford it. The Air Force Academy Chapel, a great sight to see up close my nephew showed up for this. Then my sisters guy fixed dinner for the five of us and we had a great visit with my nephew who by the way all 98 pounds of him soaking wet wants to be a SC. He just showed up for a lesson or two on that art. After he headed home we went to Garden od The Gods only because Mrs C has a thing about rocks. It was a great day and now I am going to get ready to head for Denver to visit with a VIB (very important blogger) as well as some other friends and maybe I will catch up with my brother.

Such a long post but now I have everyone up to date.

WE ARE HERE AND WOW IT IS A SIGHT

We arrived late on the fourth got to see some fireworks from the parking lot. Then found the view to be better from our 5th floor room. It has seemed like a go all the time since we got here. This morning our first session started at 7:30. That would not have been bad but I was up til 2:00 a.m. trying to access my e-mail I had to go to the lobby nad it was almost impossible because everytime I though I was getting somewhere, another SC would come over and want to talk. I still do not have my e-mail working we changed floors today so I would get the wireless access in my room.

There are 540 registered SC's, Mrs C's and helpers. It is a sea of red and white. I heard a bellman get a call on his radio this morning saying they had a gentleman that needed some help with his luggage. His reply was "let me guess he has white hair and beard and is wearing red." Most of the SC's have a bond even though we have never seen each other before. It is almost like our program but not near as good. SSC is here and his look has not changed.

If you google news S-America and the S is an abbreviation. You will find an article with more information than anyone should know about this SC. The major daily newspaper in Great falls Mt. has a very nice article in it about me. Then this evening I had the St. Louis post dispatch taking photos of me, as well as USA today. I was told the later is going to do a big article on Monday. There Photographer was right in my face taking photos while I was making some announcements.

Well it must be bed time as I am going to get a 4:00 a.m. wake up call so that I will be able to help with the parade that is supposed to start around 7:30 the last I heard is that CBS was going to have a crew here for that. But sometimes those people lie. Our parade will not be over 300 yards long. But a bunch of fat old men in heavy red suits could not go much farther than that in the heat without fear of one dropping over dead.

Well Moe to come later

FAST AND FURIOUS

Left home on Saturday at 5:30 got to Blooming Prarie at 10:15 in time for Church. (993 miles) The one my wife attended when she went to college in Owatonna, MN. It was so nice 3 older couples who were there when my wife was going there. She went there for 4 years and had not seen these people in 23 years. They invited us to lunch at the dairy queen, so we spent another two hours visiting with them. It was like she was meeting with her mom and dad after 23 years. That was the way she responded to all of the others it was so nice to see that. I really think that was the happiest four hours she has had since we have been married.

Then we went to the jail where my son refused to see me. The sargent went back to let him know that it was his dad who had just driven all night to get there. He still refused to see me told her he had his own plan, and did not need me. My concern is that he has no identification and only the clothes he had on when he went to jail. He is suppossed to get out on the 16th and I will not be home until probably after that. So I called from there and left a voice message asking him to think about it and I would come back in the morning for a visit.

Then we checked into the Microtel, it was a shock to walk into the lobby it looked like a disaster area. They got flooded out a week after I left a month ago had 2 feet of water after a 4 inch rain in two hours.

We got one of their suites for the same price I paid for a regular room when I was there before. The people that own it are just so wonderful they were just very happy to see me. So was the young man that works the desk overnights. We went to the lobby after he came on and the owners were there. I told him I just wanted to say Hi. That I had come by earlier and say how bad it looked, so I went across town and got a room over there, his look went from real excited to almost depressed, we had him going for quite awhile and the owner was even getting in on it.

We then went to a meeting I had called some friends that I met when I was there last month, they told me about the meeting time and invited us over for dinner after the meeting. So Mrs. C went to an alanon meeting and I went to a beginners meeting where they were on step 3 out of the 12 x 12 .

Went to Jail again on Monday morning still refused visit. Kid is not thinking yet he has the clothes he was arrested in and no identification on him. But he has his own plan. I guess it will be the University of Hard Knocks. I am washing my hands of the whole mess so I will pay make the money borrowed for his restitution. Then this guy who used to call me Dad can Go to H--l and kiss my rosy red A--. No pain here and I am not angry at all. Did I mention this does not hurt. This goes deep my heart has been shattered not broken. Now I am in Cameron Mo. on my way to Branson today I plan on stopping in Lexington for a noon meeting then continue on I have heard there are great meetings in Branson.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY TO EVERYONE

THIS WILL BE MY INDEPENDENCE DAY AS WELL

AS IT TURNS OUT I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN

Long Drive starts tomorrow

I am tired seems like it has been another long day. Added some more enviro safe r12 freon to the car went to town and it blew a hose out so I tried to repair it when I got home I am not sure how long it will last.

I did get to a noon meeting today just what I needed Step two. Mowed down the grass tonight hopefully it won't be bad when I get home. I want to get through the first week of this trip so I can try to relax.

For those who understand I will be making post to the S Adventures blog through the nest week or so. To get there make the S plural and the add the Adventures. Those of you who do not understand this gibberish don't worry about it someday you will get it.

Need to burn some CD's for our trip, I think I will have to throw in an alanon meeting or two as well, for my lovely bride. We are both looking forward to making a trip and not getting to excited about when we get home.

My pooch will be home but my father in law will come over a couple times a day to keep him company aand watch some TV as it is an evil thing in his house.

Well we will be trying to post to both blogs on Sunday night, It could be interesting to check out the other one as well

LIFE IS BUSY

The last few days have been so busy. The great falls tribune is going to do a feature story on SC. It is supposed to be in the thursday July 6th issue lifestyles section. I took in some press releases for Branson along with a bio and a fact sheet for S america. The editor said they would do a story and they wanted a photo to go with it, so I e-mailed a pic.

Then the writer called me and said it was going to be a feature story. She asked a lot of questions and I told her I could come in to talk to her after I got my hair done today. She decided she wanted some photos of that process as well. So she wanted all kinds of peoples names and contact numbers, she even wanted to call Mrs. C and ask her what it was like to live with SC.

I was amazed I really just figured they would do a little story not all of this. The good side is that I will get some good press instead of all the bad stuff from a few weeks ago.

I am grAAteful for

I get out of town in 2 days

The daily reflections flip book that a guy gave me tonight from the International convention in Minnesota .

That it has a place for people to sign so I am going to take it on my trip and get some people to sign it from the different meetings I will be going to.

That I was able to spend a lot of time yesterday at the hospital visiting and getting smiles in return.

I was able to go visit a boy today on his 4th birthday, who just had a benign tumor removed from his brain. We even got him to smile and take a picture.

That I found a place to call my home group, and declared that yesterday.

God is taking care of my life in spite of myself.

That I have the best wife in the world.

I am a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous with 10,451 eternal nows.

The bloggers who put up with an old windbag.

HERE'S THE HAIR JOB

THE BEFORE

WILD MAN THE BLEACH IS IN.

I THOUGHT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WHITE?

OH IT'S JUST THE TONER

I NEED SNOW

We leave on vacation in 4 days, there just seems to be so much to do. This morning I did an interview with a newspaper, Tomorrow morning I am giving a talk to the Wednesday morning Rotary club. Then to see my shrink. I am supposed to do 2 different television interviews before I go. Thursday I go to get my hair done. My wife went today during a break at work to get a perm.

I have been outside working on the car getting it ready to go. I had to replace a seat as it has tore 4 pairs of my pants. Thank God for appliques. My pants will have some interesting stuff on them. So I am shampooing carpets and upholstery. I noticed that the seat I picked up from the junk yard is more tan than brown. Oh well who cares. We got all the mechanical things handled last week.

I came in for a break and some water and looked at the temperature it is 94 degrees out there so I have decided not to go back out until it drops to 80 ok maybe 85. It is too hot for this fat old man to be out in the heat.

It has been over three weeks and I have sent three letters to my son with no reply. Last Thursday I called some of the people back there to try to find out what is going on. The news was not good. The judge had said he would be eligable for work release but he needed a job. So some of the people at the college did some talking and got him hired there to help with maintenance. After 4 days he was in the computer lab he was supposed to be shampooing carpets in another part of that building. Well the schools computer tech walked into the lab and when my son saw him shut off the computer and said well its time to go back to work. The tech asked him what he had been doing and he told the tech just checking my e-mails. Well the tech went back and did a history check on that computer and my son had not been checking e-mail. So he has denied it for over a week and is still lying about what he was doing on the computer. They let him go from the job that evening, they just don't know what to do.

Well guess what neither do I. I have told my wife that if we don't get a letter by Satuday when we leave it will be bad for him. We are going to go to Minnesota to see him in jail. I am very tempted to talk to the probation people and the county attorney if he is not able to write me a letter in four weeks then why should I have a place for him. I feel like I deserve better than that. Right now as far as I am concerned he can do the whole 2 years in jail. That way I will not have to worry about him getting into any more trouble here. I am angry, hot, and tired I think I will take a nap now.

The warning thing I did on my last post was something I found on the internet and I was just lazy and put it on instead of writting something myself.

FDA WARNINGS

Did You Know The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles such as:

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to "thay shings like thish".

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Bubba.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, where by small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy

SC HAS WHITE LEGS

Well I still need JJ to help me figure out how to do the HNT. Here is my contribution. This is the leg I am going to show off on my vacation. I have found the neatest red shorts to wear, something that is hard to have caught me in in the past. Unfortunately I have not spent anytime in a tanning salon. Therefore my legs are as white as paper. I am having a ball this afternoon I am going to go to an advertising agency and 2 local television stations.

"I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but Iwould not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could."

Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous pages 42 &43

HANG IN THERE BEAR

Ok so here is a little graphic that I put together a rather simple thing. My wife received a pin with a bear and a heart attached to this saying and I liked it better that the cat we have seen in meeting rooms at the end of his rope. Saying hang in there baby.

So I plagerized the saying so I could share. Maybe I will get sued.

But everyone knows what happened the last time SC was hauled into court. A long time ago----- Miracle on 34th Street. HA HA HA

Thanks

Thanks to everyone for the warm fathers day wishes. I just spent way too much time writing a post then moved my mouse wrong and lost it all.

Turns out Fathers day or as I will refer to it in the future as sperm donor day. Turned out lousy. Gosh is that a resentment?

I have been getting a lot of press releases about the Branson gathering, so I started forwarding them to the local media. Today I had a radio interview and then one with the Great Falls Tribune. I will let everyone know when it comes out. It could be a week or two.

I am ready to take a vacation, the sleigh (vehicle) thing did not work out, so BIBB made some repairs to Mrs.C's car with only 162,000 miles on it so we will be driving it. It might not be as bad as the one I took to Minnesota.

Well I am going to try to put the photo from the other day in one more time then I will give up for tonight.

Another Day

Life really does have it's ups and downs. The guys who were working on putting together a new sleigh for SC or may that should be BSC (big) are not going to get it done they haven't even started and it was supposed to be ready for my trip to Branson at the end of the month. Well I have been working the last 4 days will a used car dealer trying to get a deal on a sleigh for SC so that he will be able to do the traveling needed for Branson and then to help the special needs people he will be visiting year round. I should be able to get it done tommorrow.

I still get resentments, and I still have to deal with some anger problems. Last night I was going over my cell phone bill and trying to figure how it got so high. Three times higher than usual. Well we had a family plan with 3 phones it seemed like a good thing to have an easy way for me to communicate with the son who had been with us while he was away at college. We had agreed that there was no need for text messaging and the other fancy stuff. Well he had 50 dollars worth of texting and another 100 in other toll charges. 3 of us share 700 minutes and it has worked real well. He managed to use 450 of those last month. So I have been dealing with some anger. I picked up his telephone with the rest of his things whille I was out in Minnesota so I had to charge it up and when I did I became thouroghly discusted with what I found.

Mrs. C asked me earlier what I wanted for fathers day, In my anger I had told her that I wanted to forget that I ever had any offspring. That is not true though that was just pain speaking. I had read a someone else's blog and I really can't feel that way after reading his dilema. I would like to let the day just go by like ant other. The problem is our Rural Fire Dept. has a Special breakfast on Fathers day, would not be a problem but the are right across from me, out my front door. The photo was taken right at my front step. Sunday about 6:00 a.m. that parking area and along my fence line will start filling up with cars and people will be all over the place for 6 hours. So it will be hard to ignore.

Well just one more thing the pic will not load up.

MIXED BAG

The respsonses to my last post were so much fun I just thought I would make this a complete response.

First Things First Though

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOBER CHICK

365 DAYS IS THE BEST

Oh and you missed the count on non running vehicles it should be six. Only three of the cars have stories but nothing to exciting check below to get one.

Shannon the blackberry bush brought the thought of a great pie to mind. When you said will have pics for ya all, I could not help but think yup she's a red neck. You probably have all your teeth though. It will be interesting to find out how you progress with you cleanup. Maybe we could take pictures of our whole places and then have a little competition?

Mary Christine the car you thought was a Gremlin is close still AMC but there are actually two Eagle 4x4 station wagons. How about this "Raton Mary" there has to be a story behind that.

Dave there is entirely too much clutter for SC with all my other projects. I have sure got the impression that you know how to clean it up and get rid of stuff so maybe you could stop by either between your trip to new York and the UK or after. I would not mind whenever you have time.

Diego this story could get interesting.

JJ I wish it could be simple

Trudge the elves are starting to talk about hooking up with a union my worst fear would be the Teamsters. So for now I have them working 16 hour days with 1/2 hour break for cookies and milk. I could be in a lot of trouble if they go out on strike.

Sober Biker yes I have a 1980 El Camino I purchased it in 1998 for $2500 it was supposed to have a new engine in it. After the purchase was made I was informed it had 50,000 miles on the engine. 3 weeks later a rod started knocking so I parked it. Last year I did some horse trading and picked up another used engine. I have been trying to find time and effort to put it in. Then 4 months ago I did some more horse trading and thought BSC would get a new sleigh out of the deal. Well that has not happened and the El Camino still sits in front of my garage.

We will definitely be calling when we hit Denver. I checked out the website, thanks for being sick. Call me when you get here.

O.K. I could not resist googling needs I started with my first name, then my last name but SC was the best so here goes the top ten needs and I did not make them up, I decided to give all three as there were a couple others I liked on the others like theme song already have one "Mack The Knife". Then I would not mind an office manager and funding more employees and to know. SC's was really the best though.

first name last name

1. A Holiday ----Help ---Help

2. Your Help --Family-- Assurance

3. A Gift --Theme Song --Stage scenes

4. Some Shut --eye office manager-- move quickly

5. Milk & Cookies --develop sense of trust --stay competitive

6. Virtual Assistant-- A shirt --File

7. Shorter delivery cycle --Food-- Funding

8. A new Plan --Attention-- Learn

9. A lawyer-- MOD --more employees

10. You --To Know-- wait

Now that is sick, a person would think I didn't have a life.

Mrs. C went in for a meeting with her bosses this morning to discuss the camp that they have every year for the deaf kids. It has always started on Fathers day and ends the following Saturday. So we were basing our travel plans on that. So now there camp does not start until the 25th and ends on the 1st. My plan was to leave on the 30th take our time driving over to Minnesota, go to church on Sunday where she went for 4 years while she was in school and our son went to for 5 months. Then go see our son in the afternoon. Get a motel and head to Branson the next morning.

Now it looks like we are going to take off about 2:00p.m. and drive all night to try to get there in time for church at the very least in time for visiting hours. Get a meeting in then a good nights sleep and off to Branson the next morning. When we are through in Branson we are taking our time getting home about 300 miles a day. I might enjoy taking a vacation like that. So will Mrs. C.

PROCRASTINATION?

Well I am not sure this has anything to do with program, maybe it could be called procrastination. I had said a few days ago that I could qualify for the red neck yard of the year, so here goes.

This is supposed to be Mrs C's garden area you can see how high the weeds got and the grass in the yard was just as bad. There is car number 1 and the tan thing behind the weeds was going to be a pick up box trailer someday.

I thought there might be more than one car out there. I counted 4 non running cars. From about the back of the black car to the front of the brown one and about the bottom of this photo at the tire on the brown car is supposed to be the size of Mrs. C's vegetable garden. The last three years though all it has grown is cars.

Now just to prove that all is not bad we do have a flower garden spot with tulips, columbines, iris, and day lilies. This is what keeps me out of too much trouble with Mrs. C. It is really about 30 inches wide and 16 feet long. She enjoys being able to take care of it weeding and watering. I was hoping to get photos of the tulips blooming with the rest of these but the have come and gone

So there is a bright spot here, the real pretty green is the color of our house it stands out a bit but she liked the color. She also has two rose bushes just planted this year along the front fence. Well that was four cars the sad part is there are three more cars and a pick-up and only one of those cars is not road worthy. I almost forgot there is an El Camino sitting in front of my garage that doesn't run either.

When I was in a meeting a few weeks ago I was able to come to a conclusion. I have become a hoarder that is why I have so many vehicles around. As well as a lot more other things some things are just junk. Other things like clothes that I know I will never be able to wear again or that are just plain wore out. Now all of this stuff I have discovered is due to fear, sounds strange huh. While I was growing up and in my drinking I never had much I could usually pack everything I owned into a few big garbage bags and be on my way. At one point all I had were the clothes on my back. All of that has changed now it would take at least a semi truck to haul off the junk. The conclusion I came to was that I am going to get rid of my fear and all this stuff is going to go away somehow and it will happen in the near future. I have created a burden in my life, these things are stuff I don't need. So I have made a decision and now it is time for me to do the house cleaning. So it is almost like doing third and fourth step. It is the inventory that I need to do now what goes and what stays I will be down to a car for my wife one for my son and one for me. I am trying to decide if I really need a pick up, it is almost a prerequisite to live in Montana.

I finally got all the grass and weeds cut down today it has taken too much time, having to do it between rains storms. So now I need to stay on top of it for the next few weeks then I will be gone for two weeks.

We am going to Branson the committee chairman told me I did not have to worry about anymore of my registration and hotel fees, the deposit sent in January will be enough. I have to go into the big city to check out one more thing for our trip. I would mention what I am going to attempt but someone may call me a brat. I will just pray for a positive outcome and go from there. We are going to plan our trip with AA meetings as we go. I just have to plan the route and timing taking 212 to I90 across South Dakota and Minnesota to I35 probably make a 60 mile detour and go see our son at the detention center he will be getting out about the time we get home. Then head south on I35 through Iowa and into Missouri down to Branson. We are going to come back across the northern Oklahoma, to Raton New Mexico, up to Trinidad Colorado then Colorado Springs, Denver and then back up I25 to I90 and back home. It will be an interesting trip Mrs C. will get to see at least three states and maybe we can catch the top corner of Texas.

DIFFERENT AND YET THE SAME

Tradition 12 long form
And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an imense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our greatest blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.

The banker showed up at the cafe this a.m. then we started walking over to the bank across and down the street real slow. My pooch decided if I was going for a walk he was coming with me, so he followed us to the bank and I did not realize it until I was in the bank and one of the tellers told me he had folloed us. So I went back outside and told him to sit by the front door.

It seemed like forever to get the paper work done for this loan. The closing on our place was faster. So 45 minutes later I walk out of his office and Cody is still sitting in the same spot. The tellers said that he stayed right there and they probably had 15 or 20 people come in and out. So I asked for a dog treat that they give him when we go through the drive up.

Came home and started with the weed eater trying to get some more of that hay (grass) cut down. I think I amy have found an extra car out there. Pictures coming soon. Well it started raining so I had to quit. If it doesn't stop I will never get this cut. My father in law is happy about it so long as it doesn't hail. I offered to go up next week and help him with his real hay crop. I told him I would run the swather for him. It is only 220 acres of hay its just not all on a nice flat piece of ground and I have cut it a few times in the past so I know the lay of the land anyway. So we might be able to get started on it the 15th that is when it is supposed to stop raining.

Mrs. C has really impressed me the last couple of days, she went on the internet a couple days ago to find out what to use to take ink out. They had several suggestions one was aresol hair spray, one was oxyclean. I used hair spray on one pair of pants and she used oxyclean on the other. After 3 tries we were able to get the all the ink off of both pair of pants. Saved me about 75 bucks I just don't see her getting on line very often.

Report on last nights meetings I went to an AA meeting at one church and she went to her first alanon meeting at another church. We had 4 at ours I knew one of the guys we have talked about the program in the past. I was pleasantly surprised by the other 2 at the meeting. She only had 3 at her meeting. When I went to pick her up she said she enjoyed what was going on and wants to do more. So here goes she gets that wisdom award for the day, I asked her if she felt like I had cheated her for the last 10 years? She replied with no I think you cheated yourself. As some of you baseball fans would say "she hit one out of the park."

So tonight I went to a 5:30 meeting really late like 25 minutes. I sat down and within 3 minutes I started thinking this is why I quit going to meetings but I stayed. There was some contoversy going on and I had sat down next to a guy then he started talking and I was sure a fight was going to break out. Well it was not one of the better meetings that I had been to. I did get a chance to share and I let everyone know I was looking for a place to call home, but I learned a long time ago not to make any judgements based on one meeting. I had to laugh when I said I can seethat AA is alive and well here. (alive anyway) I left there and went to a big book study meeting at a prerelease center they were playing Joe and Charlies tapes. So we were at the bottom of page 68. A great portion of the book it was powerful for me anyway when I was able to get it the first time and that is the experience strenght and hope I can share. There were only 4 guys from outside there and 10 others of which only 2 of them shared. It was sad but there was one guy that is in there that seems to want what we have so I will go back, he talked to me a bit after the meeting.

It has been humbling for me to say that I had stayed away from meetings for so long. That I am grateful to have got back to meeting before I found a reason or excuse to go drink. It is not on my recomendation list for anyone. My not drinking has been purely through God's grace.

WHO IS IN CHARGE

The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That wehave had deep and effective spiritual experiences* whichhave revolutionized our whole attitude toward life,toward our fellows and toward God's universe. Thecentral fact of our lives today is the absolute certaintythat our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives ina way which is indeed miraculous. He has commencedto accomplish those things for us which we could neverdo by ourselves.
Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous page 25

Alright I started my morning off like the Dr. ordered and went to coffee. Nobody said a word about what had been going on. That surprised me. Then I pick up mail at the post office. Well I have been doing the financially responsible thing and when I looked at my receipt for my mortgage I was trying to figure out why the big difference from month to month on the interest. So I grabbed all of my receipts from the file and headed to the bank.

Now here in this little berg that I live in I have somehow managed to be on a first name basis with the bank president, and he calls me SC I think he has forgot my first name. Even to the point that I used to have coffee with him at the cafe he would come in for the 9:00 am shift. Until they outlawed smoking in all public places except casinos. Well every bar in Montana has gaming machines in them, and the one across from the cafe opens up early enough for the banker to go there for coffee. His problem is that during a 30 minute coffee break he would smoke 5 cigarettes.

So I had to go to the bank to get an answer to my stupid question. turns out that the interest is by the day so on long months the interest takes more of the payment. So I think if I make my payments 4 or 5 days early it could be to my advantage.

Well I have not been feeling much like SC lately so I haven't been wearing red, the banker asked me where the red was and I told him and he gave me a brief lecture on letting go of what my kid had done. I let him know I was still pretty angry about this mess and it wasn't just what people would say it was because I was not going to be able to make my trip to Branson the first week in July because I had to spend all of my funds on my kid. That I had spent several months helping to put they 24 workshops together and I had wasted my time because I was not going to get to take advantage of it. I knew that deep down I had not wasted my time because the other SC's were in for some good stuff.

Then he threw in the kicker he asked if it would be a benefit to my career as SC. I had to answer yes because there would be educational benefit, all the photo companies and the other SC's to network with. He said go then and I said it was impossible, here comes the kicker he tells me he will loan me the money to make the trip. I thought I would fall out of my chair. I have been to that bank to borrow money before and been turned down. Now I don't even ask for a loan and he says he will give me a loan. I am wondering is this sound judgement on his part. He told me that he would come to the cafe in the morning then go to the bank and sign the paper work. I still can't believe it.

Mrs. C had to go to a meeting at work in the city today at 1:00 so I took her in early and dropped her off then went and picked up BIBB and we went to a meeting. It was basically memorialising a gal that had not made it got drunk and killed herself. The big factor is that this disease kills. Tonight I am goin to the meeting here in our little berg, and Mrs C is going to the other church for her first alanon meeting. Oh I pray that I have not messed this up
those alanon's can be pretty sick. ( just joking).

God must be working in my life, I could not ever imagine a day or a week or even a month like my last one has been.

TodAAy I am grAAteful for

3 normal friends

that people who mind don't matter and people who matterdon't mind.

A wonderful wife who is also a great cook

Bambi steaks for dinner

Living in a small town

My banker

My pooch who got to go to coffee this morning.

My Son

A super kick ass God who does for me what I cannot do for myself

WISE WIFE ?

This has been a good day. Went to a noon meeting and took my wife with me for her very first AA meeting. Of course it was an open meeting and it was pretty good. I called and left a message for Anonymous Biker where I would be going. There was a lady there for her first meeting so it was about first step. Anon Biker showed up a little late but it was cool.

We went to lunch afterward. We really do make lasting relationships in this fellowship. This was the third time we have met and I feel like we have known each other forever.

Then I had to go visit with BIBB for awhile and Mrs. C went shopping. I had to go see my shrink, he gave me a rx I am not sure about. Going to coffe in the mornings again. I need to think about that one. He also said he thought it was good that I was going to meetings again. Alright I will admit the were right because I have enjoyed going to meetings again.

So we went to rent a brush mower for my hay harvest and this thing was huge and expensive to rent. So we opted to just purchase a heavy duty weed eater. So off to Home Depot. ( with my wife along I was not to worried about the scam artist)

We get home and I get it put together and am just starting it up and the guy who has the parts house here comes up and says he will bring his big riding mower over and cut dowm this mess. I declined I hate to ask some one else to do something I am capable of. It's a pride thing. He left and I started whacking down this stuff and a couple minutes later he pulls up on his mower. He saved me a lot of work and I am grateful for what he did. We talked briefly and he said he was just waiting for me to make an appearance outside to talk to me. So now I will count two as friends here in this little berg that I live in.

In an hour or so it will be Thursday and HNT I still have not figured out how to join in on that group. I have decided though that I have bared so much of myself in the last couple weeks that I went beyond the half naked thing.

It was good for me to be able to share some of what has been the biggest part of my life for so long with my wife. I really got the feeling that she is genuinely interested in this program and she wants to go to an alanon meeting now. I hope I have not cursed this thing. I have not done well with alanons in the past. A couple people left comments on my last post and i am not sure how wise she is after all she married a 6 time loser. I figured I was the wise one I figured my picker was working good enough to get her to marry me.

TodAAy I am GrAAteful for

The meetings that are available to me.

2 "normal" friends

How large our fellowship is and yet we live in such a small world

Getting most of my hay (grass) cut down before it rained.

My friends here in blogland and especially the ones that I get to meet in person.

My father in law

My constant companion and bud Cody my pooch

That God has blessed me with such a wonderful Wife to share my life

My loving God that I do not understand he never gives me more than we can handle together.

A PLACE IN THE SUN

Today I will have to find a place in the sun. Unfortunately it is not a desert surrounding. I have been away from home so much in the last month that I have a great hay crop growing in my yard. I am not even going to try to mow this mess with a lawn mower. I am going to go rent one of those DR trimmer mowers for brush. I may find a car out here the grass is so high.
I am sure I could win an award for redneck yard of the year.

Last night my wife and I were talking about some decisions I was thinking about making. None of which had anything to do with drinking or the like. Then she says it might be a good idea if I start going to some AA meetings even if I do have to drive into the big city. She has heard how I have sounded when I have gone to meetings when I was out of town and she seems to think it might do me some good. So I will probably fit a meeting into my schedule today.

The friend that called me while I was in Minnesota came by last night to see how things were going, that was the first time he has ever been to my house. He still amazes me. Then the man that I have been working on a couple SC projects called me up and said he had the basic layout for my new webpage. So I was able to check it out. Anyone who wants that address can e-mail me at tim1mack@yahoo.com and I will send the the address for that website. It is not completely functioning but changes will be getting made to it on a regular basis until it is done. I would put it out here, but as most know I am trying to keep SC off of here for obvious reasons.

NO DRAMA

Page 24 the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yetobscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Ourso called will power becomes practically nonexistent.We are unable, at certain times, to bring into ourconsciousness with sufficient force the memory of thesuffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.We are without defense against the first drink.

This is in the book as squiggly letters as well. After 10,428 eternal nows I can remember my last drunk and the things that led up to it like it happened yesterday.

I listened to Mark H. last night on my computer and he talked about the way I have done relationships in the past and was able to get a good laugh out of it.

Once again it reminded me of the things that led up to my last drunk. I believe that my first real spiritual experience happened at the end of that drunk. I immediately went to a meeting in Westminster, Co. and it was the only place I went to while I was in Denver last month where not a whole lot had changed. It is good to be able to return to some familiar things.

Sitting in that room helped to bring back the memory of going back up to my first meeting after that last drunk. I need to always be able to remember that last drunk. They told me when I got there that if I could not I probably had not had it. Today is okay nothing major going on just wanted to share. I have had so much time where things have been quiet, I guess I needed to be reminded that I don't need all that drama in my life.

THE GRIEVING PROCESS

Here I go again thinking. When my son left for college in January there was a big void in my life. He had only been with us for 5 years and he was always very important to me. I thought we had become very close though in that time period. So in January I had a lot of different emotions going on inside and had thought this is just like the 7 stages of Grief. Not until I looked up those stages this morning did I realize that he may have had some of the same things going on as well. I found the stages on a college website for new students and thought it was interesting, so I will post it now and then add some more comments.



Grief and Loss

Grief and loss can be associated with any stage of life. Even the death of a pet or moving to a new house can cause a person to grieve. Grief is associated with any kind of loss and will vary in length and intensity. Students experiencing homesickness during the first few weeks of college are experiencing a loss (parents, home, friends, etc.) and are, in a sense, grieving.
Grief is a normal, natural part of life. It is important that grief be regarded as a healing process. There are seven recognized grief stages. An individual will experience each stage during their grief; however, it may not be in order and some stages may be visited more than once. The stages of grief are (1) Shock or Disbelief that the loss has occured. (2) Denial is the stage in which the person refuses to accept the loss has occured. (3) In the Bargaining stage, the person attempts to reconcile the loss by making deals with other people, sometimes also with Diety. (4) Guilt is marked by statements of "if only I had done/been . . . ". (5) Anger is a natural stage everyone must pass. Anger may be directed toward the loss, the person lost, or even Diety. (6) Depression is a stage that comes and goes throughout the grief process. Resignation at the end of the depression indicates that the truth of the loss has been accepted and the person is ready to move on. (7) Acceptance and Hope means that you understand your life will never be the same but it will go on with meaning and hope.

We have all had to go through these stages for different reasons at different times in our lives. I have gone through this first with my mothers death 34 years ago. Then when my first wife divorced me and those 3 children were removed from my life. Then I went through it when I gave up what used to be my very best friend booze. When I moved to Arizona, when I moved back to Denver, when I moved to Montana. With the death of one brother and my father and now I will go through the stages with the death of my sister 2 weeks ago and we were not very close at all in fact I probably have not spoke to her in 15 years. There were eight and now we are four. But the one that I seem to be dealing with now is with my son being locked up. I know I am beating a dead horse here but these are the types of things that I need to be aware of to maintain my sobriety.

The shock and disbelief is what I was feeling on my drive out there. I could not deny this problem as I have never been one to think my children were little angels and could never get into trouble. The bargaining is what I did with the lawyers trying to make it a little easier on him. I did the guilt thing while I was there trying to figure out where I failed him and how could I have been a better father. I have accepted the fact that he has to do some time and I am hoping that he will learn a lesson from all of this. So now what I am going through is anger and depression. So I am working on not stuffing the anger so the depression will not be as bad. I have rescheduled an appointment with my shrink that I missed last week and we will discuss all of this when I see him.

Damnit I am angry with that boy for not thinking and doing something so stupid. He did find one of those phone numbers that would bill him directly and I found 5 different bills in his stuff that I brought home while I was unpacking it. Man he could have bought a lot of Hustler magazines or even a really good hooker for just what those 5 bills were. Now that is my insanity. Maybe I should find him one of those consultant type gals like in failure to launch so he might be able to learn how to better interact with the opposite sex.

He is going to need some type of counseling or help with how to have a healthier attitude about women. As well as how to think before he acts on what he says or does. I was called down to the school on a couple of occasions when he had said things that were inappropriate. The first time was when some of the guys had duped him into asking the science teacher to the prom. Then agin when he was in the same class he had just picked up his school pictures and sat down and said to the teacher I am one ugly SOB. The last time in his senior year they had an assembly where Miss Montana came to give a talk and on the way in he was telling some of the guys I have a great question for her. The principal had cautioned him by saying do not ask anything inappropriate. Time came and he just stood up and asked her if she would marry him. He got a Saturday detention for all of these. The last one I understood real well first because I said that to way too many women and way to many of them saud yes. He would have been in trouble if this one would have said yes, my guess is she would have been high maintenace. Secondly because I am sure he just voiced what most of those boys were thinking, maybe just a date and not marriage anyway. We have come to call these things Shanisms not so he could hear us but he always made comments or asked questions that were just off the wall.

He was so gullable that I was always getting him on something trying to get him to think. Maybe some are just constitutionally incapable of thinking. Well I have gone on with my oldtimer pontification long enough. the best part of this though is that my readers can quit at anytime, its not like I am going on and on and on in a AA meeting.

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS

Chapter 3. MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM
page 37
But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink.

I did some thinking yesterday on my way home. (A very dangerous thing.) Through out my time in this fellowship I have found that it is the trivial little things that happen in my life that I have to be cautious about. Like leaving a pen in my laundry. I was so angry with myself for doing that getting in a hurry and not paying attention. Those are the dangerous things for me, give me a major crisis and I do alright.

I spent most of my driving time listening to CD's of AA speakers that I had downloaded from XA. It is a very good library. I listened to Don P. from Aurora, Colo. He was my sponsor and I could visualize him at the podium giving his talk. Tight down to the expressions and mannerisms. I found out when I was in Denver a few weeks ago that he passed on to that big meeting, where I am sure he is still thumping his Big Book. In some of my moving around the country I have been blessed with his talks. In Denver, San Diego, and the last time was in Great Falls. His talk did not change only the parts about where he had been doing service work and he did that all over the world. He would add something about his recent travels in his talks.

I listened to Chris R. from Texas he is one fired up dude but his message is a great one that I agree with whole heartedly. He is another Big Book thumper, he doesn't hold anything back I really enjoyed his talk in Queens.

I did make it home late last night, picked up the local paper and they are really slow, they were just getting around to printing the story about my son. Maybe I just live in the wrong part of the world, now the small town garbage will come out. Oh well Life on lifes terms. Hell it just makes me sick today, I will go through the process and it will be fine someday soon.

I made it into Great Falls this morning for Anonymous Bikers Papa's funeral service. I liked the guitar and songs and what they had to say about him. He was a loved and respected man I would like to have lived my life like he did. It was nice getting to visit with AB and his wife and mother, I am sure we will hit a meeting sometime this next week. From where I was sitting it sure appeared to be a functional family.

This whole life thing has to be about being there for each other no matter where we are or what is going on in our lives. It is getting time for good and happy things to start happening.

I think I will look for some more speakers on XA if anybody has heard any good ones that are on their list please let me know.

todAAy I am grAAteful for

the program of Alchololics Anonymous

the fellowship we have

my bloggin friends

the wonderful lady God put into my life

my faithful pooch

PICKING UP LOOSE ENDS

Made my last visit to the Jail this morning before I headed back home. Had to make 3 different stops in Elkton S.D. Pastor, place he was staying then where he was working. The older couple where he was staying were so sweet, the lady had all of his things laundered, cleaned and packed up ready for me to pick up and told me they enjoyed him. The place he was working a farm the lady was very pleasant, she told me that all he talked about was his dad. That made me feel good. I personally was not impressed with the Pastor he was working with, not much forgiveness in his tone. That is just the way my mother in law will be.

By 2:00 p.m. I was on the road heading home. Stopped in Presho for some of grandpa Casey's ice cream then managed to Get to Wall. Found a room then went downtown and walked around found a red 3X T-shirt that says Wall Drug across the front.

Oh I did not mention that I thought I would do some laundry before I left last night, I did not check carefully and left a pen on one of my shirts so everything that came out of the dryer was ruined that was some expensive laundry. I was not happy with myself for that one so I needed a clean Red T without a bunch of black spots on it. Oh well I will have more for the grubby drawer for working on cars or just around the yard.

I should be home tommorrow afternoon, then I will go to the funeral services for Anonymous Biker's Papa on Saturday. Thank You to all my blogger friends for the support during the last couple weeks. It has been good for me to be able to share the things that are going on in my life.

GOD HAS A PLAN

Well started my day off with a visit and a meeting cut short. Went to court had I - ME- MYSELF had everything set agreement between prosecutor PD and victim and handed over a cashiers check for $2350.00. Judge was fine with all of that and wanted a probation report, no problem I - ME - MYSELF had made some preliminary arrangements with the probation department, so we were going to be back in court at 1:30 to have it settled. The probation guy talked with my son at the court house and then talked to me.

At 1:30 we were all in our places and I thought all was going well, then I watched the judge after he had listened to everything. The judge was doing some serious thinking about it all and told my son that he had embarrassed a great deal of people through his actions as well as loosing the trust and respect of many not to mention what he has done to his own reputation. The judge ordered him to pay back the restitution that his dad had made for him within 1 year as well as all of the expenses that I had involved with this. Gave him a $2000.00 fine ordered him to get some counseling on his thinking. Gave him 1 year in jail and suspended all but 90 days.

My heart just sank and at the same time I felt the judge was even handed he thought well before he made his decision. My selfishness wanted me to take him home and straighten out the problem. I wanted to protect him one last time. I will not be able to do that God has a better plan.

So I will try to get a good nights sleep tonight, visit him in the morning and head towards home. I will have to stop in Elkton S.D. and pick up the items he has there. Then I will beat it to Rapid City. I should have a free nite stay at a Microtel coming so I will spend it there I know better that to drive so far and long to get myself in trouble.

There were some people from the church he was attending who will go visit with my son so that should not be too bad. After he has done his time I will purchase a train ticket and they will make sure he gets to the Twin Cities to catch the train.

This is not what I had planned for an outcome, and it is painful and my wife will need me home she is his step mom but Her mothers day is Febraury 12th that is when she got a 230 lb. baby boy 15 years old. She has treated him as if he came right from her womb and this has caused her a lot of pain.

I did not have to drink over this and still do not feel it an option, this is living life on lifes terms and taking it all as it comes. I want to get home so I can catch up with that anonymous biker who might like another friendly face as well.

I AM GRATEFUL AND TRULY BLESSED

What do you know the PD called me this afternoon and told me my son has a court appearance at 10:45 tomorrow!!!! I hope it will just be a matter of the Judge signing off on the whole thing. Then going to the probation people and seting it up for him to be able to call in with his status.

I started the morning off with a visit to the detention center( politically correct I guess) I call it the jail. Then to a 9:30 morning meeting on gratitude I sure enjoyed it. Then an afternoon break and a nap I have just been tired, I do not understand that. Maybe it is all catching up with me. Then to a 6:30 meeting 12 and 12 tradition 5 having one main purpose.

After that meeting I was standing out front visiting with some of the people and I was asked if I was J---- , I said no. Then I found out that J---- was to be the out of town speaker for the 8:00 meeting, and was asked if I would be the speaker if he did not show up and I reluctantly agreed. It has been awhile since I have been asked to be a speaker, so I had to do some quick thinking then just asked God to give me the right words.

I did not spend a lot of time on a drunk a log, I felt it was more important to talk about working steps, getting a sponsor and going to meetings. I was not sure about a lot of what I had to say other than we have to learn to live life on life's terms and just do what is put in front of us to do. I was able to thank the group for taking me in and the warm embrace that I felt here.

I told them that this was probably the first time that I had spent anytime away from my home base where I was not judging the meetings and saying they sure don't know haw to stay sober here. Ihave been to several different kinds of meetings here and did not feel like they were doing it all wrong. I was able to just take it all in and accept that the meetings do not have to be the same way it was where I got sober. Maybe just maybe people can get sober and stay sober using the same twelve steps and have different formats for their meetings. Or maybe something has changed in me. I am not the judge anymore I have found that power greater than me and he does just fine without any assitance from me telling him how it is suppossed to be done.

With prayers I think I will be heading back home on Thursday morning with my son and I should be there by Friday. Then I will look up that annonymous biker and maybe we can go to a meeting together.

TodAAy I am GrAAteful for

The God of my understanding that I don't understand

The AA people here in Minnesota who have embraced me

The people at the college who have tried to be helpful and not judge.

The Pastors from the churches who have been here without judgement.

My fellow bloggers who let me run off on the blog and have been a great inspiration and support.

My son who has life lessons to learn

Being able to be here for him now and hopefully later to offer guidance on these life lessons.

For a wonderful understanding woman who accepts why I am away even though she wants me to be home.

For the mutt that I call my dog who likes to talk to me on the speaker phone and lets me know what is going on.

For the unwarranted gift of sobriety that God has given me.

MY SALUTE

I salute all of our soldiers past and present for giving me the freedoms that I have here in this country as well as fighting for the freedoms of others abroad.

R & R

Yesterday was a relaxing day I posted early was not able to see my son until 2:00 p.m. When I got in to see him he told me he had made a decision and he was not sure he could fully explain it in 20 minutes. I told him to try, so he told me I should go back home and not worry about him that he had caused mom (my wife) and I enough problems. This was a surprise, I think somehow it finally sunk into his head that there are consequences for all of our actions. I stopped playing hardcore at this point and told him I was here to see if I could help and that I was not at my limit at this point and I was not ready to quit.

I told him this would be the last time any future situations he got himself into he would be on his own. Also that there are a lot of people praying for him to get through this problem he is going through.

Then it was time to eat and back to the motel where I laid back and promptly fell asleep until about 8:30 woke up nuked some popcorn and chatted with some people here then came back to my room and was out again by 10:30. Woke up at 6 this morning feeling good rested and recuperated.

Went over to see my son at 8:00 he had a better outlook today, then to a meeting at 9:30. Back to motel to check e-mail and hang out until afternoon then it was off to a small barbecue with the couple I went to Gopher state with. They live out in a nice country setting off the beaten path and it was pleasant to go out and sit eat some good food, the food was big plenty of it. The fellowship was excellent and I sure did appreciate some home cooking after nine days. Rather relaxing and I did not leave until seven had no idea it had gotten that late. So now I am back at the motel and the owner has invited me downstairs to visit with him, he is another one of those "normal" people who is very interesting to talk to. He is from India and a delight to listen to a very intelligent man. Oh and just in case I have not mentioned it before Microtel motels are comfortable to stay in the regular room for a single is reasonable and just the right size for one. At this one the people working here are just plain great. No I am not getting paid for this commercial interruption.

With God's help we might be able to get this resolved in the next two days so I can go home. That is my prayer anyway.

GOPHER STATE XXXIII

What a kick, I had an absolute ball yesterday. The couple picked me up at 7:30 and away we went. While I was registering the older guy Len, was there in his scooter chair and he sure wanted to talk with me. I was trying to get back to the people I was with and see what their plans were. They said we needed to be in the big room plenty early to get a seat. I told them I needed to contact the other SC and maybe have breakfast with him as I did not want to listen to the first Alanon speaker. So we would catch up later. As of 11:00 am they had 4400? registered.

My friend was not able to meet with me as he was getting ready to fly out to Colorado, there was a death in his family so I let him know we would be catching up sometime in the future. So I walked around the convention area trying to familiarize myself with the layout. I have never seen so many hospitality rooms, they all had food and drink and were welcoming everybody in. Two floors all the way around a big pool and dining area 3 sides there had to be 50 just my guess. They had the speakers on closed circuit TV and in several other big rooms around the hotel.

I wound up in one room found a big comfortable chair watching the first speaker, she had a good message. The 2 guys standing at the door kept telling everybody that they had SC sitting in their room. So they were able to attract a few people in.

When that was over I went out and found my hosts and we got a seat in the big room for the next speaker. She was from GSO in New York and had a good story to share, she used to be a nun. Shortly after that meeting started the lady host that I was with had a minor asthma attack, and had to leave the room with her male companion. They told me to just stay in the meeting and they would be alright. After that meeting I caught up with them and found out it was someones perfume or cologne that set it off so they went to one of the other big rooms to watch. So we all went our different directions for lunch and whatever meeting we wanted to atttend. I wound uo in another hospitality suite after eating and watched the next Alanon speaker, she had such an impact on me that I left the room and waited to speak to her afterwards.

The next big meeting was an longtimers forum they had 3 speakers and the first one was funny then it got boring so I left and found the smaller meeting rooms, where they already had the topics listed in the program for call up type meetings .

I went into one titled "Don't take yourself too seriously. Well Everyone should know that I am in SC mode 24/7/365 and this was not any different for me. When I walked in before the meeting one gal asked if I had dressed like that just for the meeting, I let her know this was my daily dress. The meeting started and then one guy wanted to get up there so he spoke for a few minutes then the chairman said he though he was having flashbacks and that he thought he saw SC in the room and wanted me to get up and say some things. It was neat to be in a room with 100 people and let them know I can wear this uniform because of the program. That I had never believed we were suppossed to be dull boring and glum, that my God wants me to be happy joyous and free. I was able to tell them about doing the King many years ago in sobriety, that I just want to bring smiles to peoples faces because there was a time that no one smiled when I walked into a room. The amazing part was that I was able to say that and a lot more in less time than it took me to type in this paragraph.

Then I got a call from SR the normal friend he again said if I needed anything to let him know. This is still beyond any thing I have ever experienced before and I told him that and he said he was just doing what people are supposed to do help others out when in need.

I watched the next speaker on the tube again as there was no way to get into the big room or any of the other not quite so big rooms, the reason was by 7:00pm they had over 7,000 registered WOW. The last speaker at 10:00 I was able to get into the big room for as I got in there early enough to grab a chair. When it was all over we got back to my motel about 12:30, I was exhausted.

SC had a great time there he walked around with a name tag that had Tim written on it and people would ask and I said oh he is my alter ego and he is an alc0holic. One of the things I thought was real good about this conference is they had interperters for the hearing impaired and there were quite a few there I had a brief opportunity to chat with them and now I am even more excited about the sign classes I will be taking this fall. I felt that wonderful embrace from everyone at Gopher State everyone was sure they had seen me at one mall or another and that they knew me.

This morning I got a call from my host of yesterday inviting me out to their place tomorrow to hang out and have a barbeque. Life is good.

todAAy I am grAAteful for.

My omnipetent kick ass God.

The warmth of our fellowship no matter where we go.

My friends here on the blogosphere.

The most wonderful woman in the world, my wife.

A normal friend.

Being able to find some of that peace amid the storm.

INNER PEACE

Today I was able to relax a bit and find some inner peace. In prepartion for going to the Gopher State Roundup tomorrow, I will be riding with a couple from here. Well there are several SC's in that area and I thought maybe I could get one or two to come have lunch with me. Well I called one and told him where I was going to be at and he said well that is where they are going to have that big AA conference! I asked how he knew about that and turns out he is a Friend of Bill W. as well. This just amazed me so it looks like we are going to try to have breakfast.

I know that there is a reason God wants me here.

AN AMAZING DAY GOD WORKING IN MY LIFE

I started my day off the way the last 4 have been, heading over to the detention center to visit with my son. I told him right off the bat that AP had picked up the story and it was all over the country and real heavy in 2 states that are important. Here and there. Just as I finished that my cell rang and it was SR a "normal" guy who I had felt was just a casual aquaintance. I asked him if I could call him back in 20 minutes. Then I told My son who it was and that it was probably a call to give me a bad time about the trouble he is in. Then I told him what was going on with the PD etc. finished our visit and left.

SR was coming out here within 30 miles of the college in March and had called me up and asked if I wanted a free ride out here to see my son. During that thrip I ralized we came fro mtwo different worlds his was one of money and privelidge and mine quite the opposite.

Well I called him back and he siad he had just read about my son on the internet, and did I need anything a car to drive out here money anything at all that I needed. I stopped him and said I was already here and that was why I had to call him back. I said thank you for the offer but I think we will be able to handle it. He said it was not just an offer that if I needed anything to call him and not to hesitate. There was no condemnation or hassle. He said they are playing up the s__ angle from a religeous school not what he was charged with. He also made comments that, others are doing the same thing with their own cards and nobody says anything about it. I think I might have a "solid normal friend" amazes me.

Then I went to the 9:30 meeting and a guy I had met there a couple days before came up and handed me a card from anoter SC that works across the road from my motel and said he wanted to talk with me. We will go to coffee tomorrow. I updated my big book and purchased a 4th edition, and found I am really behind times it is a sixteenth printing. I also purchased Experience, Strength and Hope. I knew I was going to a big book study meeting so I wanted my own book hell I did not bring one with me so I figured it was time.

I had never been to a big book study where they read the stories so it was interesting when they said they were on page 522. It is one of the new stories and this afternoon whenI was checkingout ny new book it opened to that story I read the heading then just flipped through the rest and set it aside until this evening. From what I gathered during the discussion this guy lives in this area and has a great talk as well. The whole story is good but I had some lines that jumped out and hit me in the face, they gave me some hope in dealing with my current problem so I will share those lines.

The news media had picked up the story, and it was blared all over the world, on all the major television networks, and my shame and humiliation were beyond words......My family had suffered public shame and humiliation. I had been the object scorn, shame, and disgrace. Yet much more ha happened ; every loss had been replaced with rewards...............Adversity truly introduces us to ourselves. But we need never deal with our adversities alone as long as we can find another alcoholic in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I read my friend MC's post this morning and cried then tonight I read the comment she left on my post a roared with laughter. This was a great day under the current circumstances, and my God has been working in it in spite of everything I do.

WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS

We are going to get through this I know that even though I complain and rant. Sera check comments on last post then I can delete it.

Sera gave me something I like a lot more than the title on this blog. I will have to start using it "The people who matter don't mind and the people who mind don't matter. COOL

The XXXIII Gopher State Roundup is this weekend and it is only forty miles away so SC will drive up Saturday morning and spend the day listening to speakers and getting in on a lot of fellowship. How could I go wrong.

It is interesting I heard a new guy say tonight he really needs the meetings so he goes to four or five a week. I know I have not had a great deal of meeting in until recently. I found the Alano club here and since then on Monday evening I have been to six meetings and I am thinking 90 in 90 would be good. When I sobered up I was told 90 in 90 read the Big Book get a sponsor and work the steps. My obsessive behavior said if one is good two is better so I know I did more than 180 in 90 and then did it again right after that. When I have had to go through difficult times in my past I have tried to do the 90 in 90 and it seems to help me clear out the cob webs.

I am going to quit for this post as I think it is short enough for all to read.

Putting one foot in front of the other
Big Sky mAAck dAAddy

WHAT TO DO????? I AM SICK

I am sick seems my son is a rising star and not the kind a parent wants to see. This morning I went to see him and he had a letter that I asked him to write about how he felt about this whole mess. He is remorseful and that I can see and it is not just because he is in an orange jump suit.

I left there and went to a meeting, then I went to try to talk to his PD found him at the court house and told him what I was there for. I wanted to see if there was some way to try to get this handled before the first of June. I did let him know that it was not because I was trying to get my son out of Jail faster it was just that this was a very big financial burden on me staying here.
He talked to the prosecutor and then came back to me and said he thought there might be a chance but that he will be gone Thursday and Friday. But he will try to get someone else to handle it if he cannot. So I then went down to the probation department to see what that would take and the guy told me it usually takes a while to get handled. Then he pulled out this big file and told me that it looked like it would not be an issue for them to transfer his probation. But he will be off on Friday.

I came back to my room so I could do my laundry and paid my room up through Friday. I checked my e-mail and found that this mess has been picked up by national news services and a international news service. I think this kid has ruined his life, and I am ill for him. I know that I want it handled now before the first so there will be no news there.

Sera I still cannot get to your blog but I would like to get an e-mail from you. You may have some information I will need to get for my son.

I know what he used the card for was immoral and it is disgusting to me, The press is making a big deal out of a Bible college student making these calls but missing that he has not been charged with a sex crime but just theft. I am very aware of the problem he is having with a healthy sex life and I have talked to him about getting hold of a big book and substituting his behaviors where it says alcohol or alcoholic.

I am not doing so good right now I have to keep asking my God for the right direction and what he would have me do to be of maximum service to others. I want to distance myself from all of this and I know that it has hit the local news hell it is all over big sky country. Some dAAddy I am.

I have changed the title for this post 4 times already probably still not fitting, I will find a meeting tonight.

TodAAy I am GrAAteful for
being able to post on this blog
the people out there in blogland who read and comment to help
A wonderful Bride she is the best
The people here at this motel who are treaqting me like family
Having meetings so close to here
That God is working in my life whether I think so or not
That I am staying sober through all of these things going on

THE RECORD HAS BEEN SET

First of all today the record has definitely been set. Mrs C and I have been married for eight years, and had dated for 2 years before that, wow that is a lot of time with one woman, especially for me. As she is number seven I have finally got it right. sure enough after putting it on the calculator averaging out from the year that I first married and not counting this marriage taking out the one that lasted for 1 month and the two that lasted for 3 months and the 2 years that I spent completely alone not counting any girl friends in between the other three over all would amount to 8.1 years each and I know that is a stretch, so 10 years with one is definitely a record. for me it is like counting days in the program. (more humor)

Well I have talked it over with Mrs. C and she thought I could stay with some people here in town that she knows from THE CHURCH. I suggested that I see if I can get a longterm rate from the motel, wow what a rate I got $33.00 per night. So when I called her back she thought that was probably better knowing that I do not like being on someone else's time schedule and that I have become rather set in my ways, imagine that. So we decided I would stay here until June 1 and see if we can get this handled by then.

Went to see son this a.m. and let him know once again that I would stay but he would be going to work staying at home paying room & board and every dime I have and will have to spend on this mess. Told him that Mom ( Mrs. C) said that all the special cooking she used to do for him would not be happening that she thought he should get bread and water. Also that the head that he has been thinking with should get whacked no Chopped off as well anyway that is what she would tell the judge. Good thing she is not here, but earlier in my life I figured that was what caused a lot of my problems. More sick humor. My son is pretty scared right now and I think that is good he is sure that we will not be able to get this handled and that I will be going home without him. I grabbed a copy of the paper this morning and sure enough on page three is my son's mug shot with a headline that said _______
college student charged with theft of roomates credit card. Then further down in the article it stated what he used it for. I took that into the detention center for him to see. I am worse than a jewish mother piling on the guilt.

I then went to a meeting at 9:30 a.m. when I was asked to talk I said why I was there and what was going on. Three of the guys in the room had read the morning paper. As it turns out one of the guys was retired from the court services department (probation) and half the people in the room had probably had to see him at one time or another. He did say he wanted to talk to me after the meeting. He let me know that it will probably work out alrightthat the PD,s were good and that he was going to have lunch with a couple of them today.

Now I feel like I have time to get the car fixed so off to NAPA they check it out and determine that the alternator is defective. Also I find out that the list price of it is $106.00 so that means if the guy that fixed it in S.D. was telling me the truth that I will be getting a refund of 81.50 (more humor sure that will not happen) I sent out my first e-mail that it did not look like I would be going to the SC convention in July, as this mess is really draining any extra funds I would have had.

Why am I doing this some may ask or say it is not good for me to be here. I will say to you out of the six sons that I have this is the only one I have been able to have a bonded realtionship with, and the kid has tried to do right most of the time. I am trying to be the father that I never had and offer guidance and direction. I have made it clear that this is the last time that I will not be an enabler and he will not be able to get any help from me if he gets into any more trouble. I will throw my hands up and tell him he is on his own when he gets it straiightened out let me know.

Tried to just relax a bit this afternoon went to a 6:30 step meeting on step 9 it was really good with only 6 people in the room and 2 with less than 6 months. I shared about some of the amends that I had made when I went through the steps with my sponsor the first time. One of which I have mentioned in an earlier blog.

Then I figured I just as well go to the 8:00 speakers meeting every once in awhile we get to hear someone tell our story from the podium. I have heard mine a couple of times in the past. The speaker tonight is a big book thumper and in case no one has figured it out yet I really like that.
Anyway this guy got up and told a story that was a lot like mine and hit the before mentioned amends and my current situation right on the head. God sure does work for us in this program he puts the right people in our lives when we need them if we are open and willing we can see that.

There is what I think they called the Gopher State Convention going on about 50 miles up the road this weekend. I am thinking I might go up for some of the speakers on Saturday.

Tomorrow morning I will go to see my son, catch a meeting and then attempt to contact a PD. Then go to church in the evening.

My blogs have been long as of late but I figure I am doing this for me as much as anyone else and I fell better about doing this. I will try to keep them shorter, what the hell if no one wants to read these long ones that is alright too. I am putting out what is going on in my life and how I am trying to let God be the driving force in my life, through this program. It is life and if this says anything I am saying no matter how many days we get added up we still have to deal with life on lifes terms.

Monday

The last two days have been full. Monday morning I ask people here at the motel where the detention center is? No one knows so I call a cab as car is sittting in parking lot of farm store. The cab guy one mini van in town ask if I want a round trip I said yes I would call for a ride back. 10 minutes later he picks me up and drives west to the stop light turns south about 1/4 mile and we are there. How disappointing I did call for the return drive as I had committed to it, both trips were only $8.00 total.

Went into detention center to talk to my son, they give you 20 minutes on a video monitor and it times out automatically. Inmates can have 3 visitors per day but only one visit per person. Seems to me like that is a lot of visits available. Anyway I told my son he had 20 minutes to convince me that he wanted me here to help him out, or I would return home. He was lost filled with guilt and remorse as I was hoping for, if he would have had an attitude I would have left. His being lost like that convinced me I needed to try to assist him.

Went to Farm store bought a battery and had them charge up the other and would pick it up later

Then I talked to the county attorney and he told me that he was being charged with gross misdemeanors and he would like to keep it that way, and not have it go to Felony. He was helpful and agreeable to making restitution and deferred sentencing. I asked if we could get this handled within the next few days and he thought we could. That I and my son needed to talk to the public defenders office and let them know.

So I went to talk to them was told that he would have to petition the court for a public defender, and that someone from their office would be there before he went to court. The pastor from the church showed up and we talked he was cool and wanted to be there to offer moral support. I was able to talk to my son again before he talked to the public defender and told him what was going on. Then the deputy said that I could not go in the conference room with him and the PD. Well my son the second blondest brunette in the world, his MOTHER being the first. (nothing at all wrong with blondes but we all know the jokes and these two are worse than any blond I have ever met) Still he got it messed up and the public defender called me in to the conference. then the deputy had to come in. Well in the court room the PD still messed it up saying that I was there to take Son home, the County Attorney tried to tell the judge that we were prepared to make restitution and he would like to get this handled in short order. Somehow the judge set a reduced bond at 2500.oo and another court date for June 1.

A bondsman got me before I could get out of the courtroom and told me if I had a cosigner from Minnesota he would do the bond for $300.00 if not it would be $1300.00 and after the appreance I would get back a grand.

So I was able to talk to my son while they were waiting for transport, I told him it made no sense for me to post a bond for 8 days I could not afford that, and be able to handle the restitution. I could use that money to be able to stay here and and try to help him out. He understood that.

Had lunch with his Pastor and it was interesting. We are trying to figure out how much he really got out of that much in 1-900 calls. The pastor said this sounds rather gross but he could have gone to a porn shop and bought some magazines for the same affect and it would not have cost that much. I laughed and said this is even grosser but $2300 could buy a lot of hookers. My feeble attempt at adding humor to a situation that is pretty serious.

Back to the motel and some rest, about that time the dean calls me and said the local paper had called the school and wanted the rest of the story. They gave then more information and it will probably be in Tuesdays paper.

I was restless by now, so I got on the computer and was going to post to this blog and then decided to look up a meeting here in this town. As it turns out a town of 25,000 has about 5 differnt meeting every day. I got lucky and found an alano club listed then mapped it out and it is right across the highway from where I am staying. That is where I will go then.

I went to the lobby and the people here are really nice so I am talking to this gal at the front desk and then I notice that she is wearing a sweatshirt ( they think it is cold at 65 who would have thought that in Minnesota) It has the name of the college my son has been attending and says basketball coach, turns out this is her summer job and she is the ladies coach and knows my son. This is to small of a town and I live in a really small town.

So I head over to the club and I would have to say it is one of the nicest I have ever seen. It has 6 smaller meeting rooms and one really big one. I ask if they have dues and was told no then I was told about the different meetings that were getting ready to start up. One room had a serious meeting the nesxt one had a not so serious one and then there was one where they were just plain obnoxious. So I went to that one. It was sure different than anything I had ever seen before, but it was fun and had some levity going on in there.

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER

I am really working hard at living life on lifes terms. I am just a hair away from screaming myself (JJ) I got as far as Spearfish S.D. last night about 9:30 had enough of the torrential rain and my nerves were raw from hydro planing down the interstate. Left there at 7:30 a.m. The AmericInn was a nice place very poor continetal breakfast bite size muffin or toast, juice nad coffee. I got my coffee and decided to go the fog was like pea soup.

Drove to Wall had biscuit and gravy breakfast my favorite. Then went over to Wall Drug and picked up a Wall Drug collector spoon for Mrs. C. She likes those, I think because her grandmother collected them and she was given a very nice start on her own collection when granny passed on. So when I go anywhere I try to make sure I get her a spoon. She let me know before I left she did not need anymore from Wyoming or Minnesota.

The adventure continues though about 11:30 my sleigh broke down, I was able to diagnose the problem it was the alternator. Well last october I got responsible and reupped for AAA not to be confused with AA like some have done in the past AA is a different kind of insurance. Well after more than an hour of sitting on the highway AAA called me back and said they had a guy coming from 45 miles away and then he called and was telling me it would be another hour before he could get there when the highway patrol showed up.

At first this young man was kind of spooky "roll down the window " in a tough voice while I am on the phone. Well No battery no window roll down so I opened the door and started to get out and he demanded I stay in the car. Like SC is going to cause him a problem. He was able to get all the facts and knew who was coming after me and said he would give me a ride to the little town of Presho, S.D. so I could wait inside the convenience store out of the heat.

So I left a note for the AAA guy and jumped in the patrol car. when we got there 4 miles away, I told him the ride was worth a million and gave him one of my special millions SC type.

I picked out a 99cent burger out of there rotissere and 4 of those little chese sticks. While I was waiting to make my purchase I heard the guy in front of me talking about the guy cashier being hung over. He looked it to I guess he did not normally look like he had been hit by a mack truck. Then when he totals up my purchase something like 4.38 I thought he was still 3 sheet to the wind. So I asked him how much the cheese sticks were and he said 2.99. I did not realise I was sitting in a nice resturant and ordering an appetiser.

I really digressed, so I am sitting there eating and really trying to enjoy the ambiance of my cheese sticks. Then a couple other guys sit in the booth in front of me and a young lady come out and hands this guy a chocolate milk shake. So I asked the guy they have milk shakes here!!! Thats an affirmative he has the young lady hand me a printed out sheet in a protector to read. I ordered a strawberry milk shake. I read the sheet it seems this New Frontier Station and Covenience store has a recipe handed down through 4 generations for Ice cream dating back to 1916. It is Granpa Cross's Ice cream. I think Presho S.D. is the only place in the world to get it. The guy who was telling me about the stuff was a grandson, and the young lady was his daughter.. So after I got my milk shake he told her to bring me a sampler of the vanilla. I have never in my life had vanilla Ice cream like that not even home made it was the best . So that made the breakdown easier to take.

I have called the AAA driver to let him know where I was at, he shows up about 3:00 with a pickup pulling a car trailer. Tows me to Chamberlain goes next door to the Napa store and finds a n Alternator that was my diagnosis and he agreed. Then checked it to make sure. So I was supposed to get charged fro towing for anything over 5 miles and I am trying to figure out how much this is going to cost. In my head I figured with the towing it will be about 250.00. He tells me that nobody could get him the price on the alternator and that they usually run between 150 to 225 and he will just split the difference with me. 187.50 I swallow real hard without him seeing it. I have installed the same thing on cars for 100 or less. So he figures it all up and it comes to like 227.00
with no towing so I asked him about the tow charge. He said he would take that up with AAA tommorrow and if the alternator is cheaper he will send me a check. I am thinking ya sure.

So at 4:45 I am on my way again I have 332 miles to go at 327 miles it quits again same problem it is 9:45 and I am discusted (sp) its late. I call 911 tell them I am like 4 miles from where my motel reservations are at and my car quit all I want is a bed. They call up a towing company while I am on the line and the guy says he will be there in 20 to 30 minutes I swear he is there in like 12. He hooked it up and said lets go in like 3 minutes. I told him what motel I was staying at and I just wanted to get there. He said ok then said there should be a shop close well ther is this huge farm store right across the road from the motel. No money just AAA card. Yeah

This Microtel is alright rather compact but it has everything I need and it is clean and on line price was only 41.00. They have done some nice effects with mirrors it makes this effecient room look huge.

I am not sure but I think God must have something going on to give me all that has happened the last 3 days. I was talking to Mrs C. earlier today as she was sad and crying and all I could do is tell her this is in Gods hands and all we can do is pray that his will be done. All I have to do beyond that is keep putting one foot in front of the other. Exhaustion that is what I have right now physical and emotional. So it is time to get some sleep.

Mike I hope your putt through Utah was fun and I will e-mail you my cell number so we can get together when you get back uo to big sky.

I am grAAteful for my fellow bloggers for letting me unload.
The best Wife ever
My sobriety
My God
Sleep

Off to 10,000 lakes

Well I am off it is now 11;38 am I have gotten several good things to think about, and the advise of a good attorney who is charging me zero. He said this is family nad it takes precedence. He is in Arizona so he said he thinks he can do it all over the telephone once I get there and get the information for him. So I hope to know more this evening and hopefully I will have internet access.

I would like to find Sera's blog as she did have me thinking.

ROLLERCOASTER

What a day this has been my emotions have been going nuts all day and I am trying to clear my mind. This morning I am ready to ride into town with my wife to catch the olympians in some events and the closing ceremonies. Just as we are ready to go out the door I get a call from the Dean of men at the college my son has been going to in Minnesota. He says there is a problem. So I am thinking he had some bad grades. huh

My son the one who said he wanted to be a preacher stole his room mates credit card number and used it in some very illicit ways, so far to a total of $2300.00 and they are waiting to get one more bill in. The Dean wanted us to make restitution and come and pick him up. So while I am on one phone I have my wife get on her cell and call to borrow the money. When I was given the sign that I would have it I told the Dean I would be leaving tonight with the funds in hand. I thought I would just stay home but decided that I needed to get out of myself and went into the games.

It was way too much fun SC met some new friends and saw some of the buds he has talked to in the previous two days. took a lot of pics hopefully I will get some up on my other blog next week. These children love so unconditionally and are always smiling, then SC comes around and when they realize who it is I wonder where they get enough room on their faces for the smiles.

Then back to reality I had to go get the money which for me is a very large sum. I had to endure a lecture over that like a little kid but I keep saying to myself I am going to help my son. So now I have the funds and I call up the Dean he tells me to bring a certified check but that the other student and his father are pressing charges. So I went for the certified funds. Now I still have a little time to kill so I go see BIBB the only one around here I can trust with this information. He suggest that I rethink the situation and maybe make my son suffer the consequences of his actions. So I started thinking that way why should I rescue him. I did this 5 years ago and told him that it would not happen again. So Just as I am getting ready to call my son and discuss the situation with him I get a collect call from him at a detention center. In that process of trying to accecpt the call they informed me that I needed to set up an account for this type of call. I told them I would wait.

So I call the Dean and he said the police had taken him over to question him, when I told the dean what had just happened he said he would go over and check it out and call me back. So ten minutes later he calls and tells me that he is being held for a hearing on Monday. That was when I decided I would not get excited about it and leave in the morning take 2 days to make the trip and not push it. I will be there for his arraingment and then will make a decision as to what would be reasonable for me to do. I will have to pick up the things he has left at the school then I will need to go to the town in South Dakota where he was at at pick up the rest of his things.

Now my wife and I have finally arrived at home and we have been discussing the plan and wondering what we did wrong in the last 5 years with him that this is what he turns out like. We settle down have dinner and the one sister out of three that talks to me called and said hi how you doing I said she did not want to know. And how was she doing she said she was doing good but she wanted to know what was going on with me. So I told her how my day had been. Then she says well your day has already been bad so what she had to tell me would just top it off real well. One of the sisters that has not wanted to talk to me for years had died this morning. The sad part is that I had wanted to attempt a visit with her when I was in Denver what 2 weeks ago. But that time was short so I figured I would do that in July. Now I don't even know if I will be able to make my trip to Branson and Denver this summer. I am sitting here almost numb. I know I will not be able to make it to my sisters funeral, but I will not be missed there. I am more concerned about my sister and nephew that will be making the arrangements.

It will be a while before the arrangements are made as my sis that will be making these plans had just left yesterday for a vacation in Florida, and my nephew is in Arizona. So I know there will not be a funeral before next Friday or Saturday. This is a lot of ranting for things that I cannot change. So I will work on accepting these things with as much serenity as God will give me.

This is the brightest part of all of this I have no desire to go out and start drinking over any of it. If I had been drinking during this day what a mess that would have been.

I am not trying to snivel I am just venting and typing this out and looking at it is helping me to think everything out again. Tonight I will sleep on all of this and tomorrow will be a better ( or another) day. It is all just a little part of life. So in the morning after I check my e-mails and blogs I will head out to Owatonna.

I am very grAAteful todAAy
for a very loving and compassionate wife
who took to being a mom to a troubled step son like a duck to water
for a father in law even though grouchy has always been willing to help.
For the lessons yet to be learned from all of this
For a Big Time Personal to me Kickass God.

SMILES SMILES SMILES

It was an absolutely great day, so many kids so many smiles. Big kids and little ones all working hard. I liked their theme for this years Spec. Olym.

"Courage it a kind of magic" I was inside working with the medical end where they were going through eight different stations on staying healthy. When they finished that I got to give them a special pin that said healthy athletes. These kids just smile most of the time anyway, but when they saw that jolly ol' fat man they just lite up. It was so cool.

Then a Great show. They had live entertainmaent all day in our little Olympic Village one section was old time fiddlers group while they were on I watched 2 volunteer junior high girls go over and ask the special kids to dance, several times. I am sue this was not one of their required duties. It was just so nice to see such a kind and loving thing go on.

Now an explanation of the pic above. Its the Govenor trying to smooze with SC. (Ha Ha Ha) I pulled a big blunder when I walked in and he was glad handing like all politicians do. I realized who he was and informed Mrs C. She had never met him but knew his parents real well as they used to come into the truck stop she was working at when I met her. Now came my blunder as I walked away a couple kids came up to me and wanted to shake my hand and give me a hug. Then I noticed a lady and another young man standing off to the side and I said to her well I guess most people would much rather see and visit with SC than Brian, then I realized she was the gov's wife. I really felt kind of bad about that.

Well later during the ceremonies he mentioned that his pooch jegs I think it is, did not make the trip with him this time as he had gotten into a little trouble in Missoula, and was in an undisclosed location for the time being. I asked someone sitting in front of me what had happened. Seems that jegs got busted for not being on a leash. I just roared after all I thought it was a pretty funny deal. No that thar is funny I don't care who you are. ( larry the cable guy line)

None of this is has been much to do with recovery, other than the fact that I can do these things only because I am sober today.

NO BLUES TUESDAY

I could not help myself I was downloading all my photos from my trip to branson and I had to play with one so that others might have the honor of seeing what I meant by SSC yes that is rouge all the way across his face with glitter in it. and the white is theatrical white Halloween spay on stuff. I know I am bad but I could not help it and I am sure no one can recognize him from the sliver I am posting here. I am still very frustrated by him as I am averaging eight e-mails a day from this clown. I can hardly wait til the big event is over in July.

Life is good I had a great day today. I went to the big city to go to a meeting with my big Indian biker buddy BIBB. He got too busy at his shop and the next time I looked at the time it was really late so we went to lunch and then when we got back he told me we needed to fix the window in my car. So that had taken all afternoon.

Last Saturday I went into the big city to see another SC at a big car show. They angle park cars on both sides of the street for nine blocks then they take 1/2 block on both sides of the side streets as well. It is one huge amount of custom cars. I only saw one that I really really liked a 1959 Ford retractable hardtop red and white of course.

So while I was in town today I had to go to a couple different places and I had people say that their children saw SC at the car show Saturday, and wanted to know if I was there I gave them an affirmative as the other one was not in red at all. And they mentioned my SC belt buckle. I have more fun than any man should be allowed.

tomorrow and Thursday I get the honor of helping out with Special Olympics as SC the people at the hospital want me to show up that way. I am really looking forward to this.

Now some of you may wonder why I am posting these things. It is because I do get to live and enjoy life sober. If it were not for the fellowship, the Big Book, a great sponsor, working the steps and meetings. I would not be able to do these things I would have been far to selfish and self centered drinking my way into oblivion and would not even care about any of this.

I am grAAteful todAAy for
Alcoholics Anonymous
A God personal to me
The fellowship
The blogger friends I have today
A wonderful wife

THE HOLIDAY

HAPPY MOM'S DAY to all the mom's out there in blog land.

Edited my profile

12th tradition anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions ever reminding us to place principles before personalities

I thought I should edit my profile just to protect my alter Ego. Nothing personal I just think that he has enough problems without being caught here. My main concern is that he does not show up here during a word search. So any reference to him I will use SC as I hope everyone else will. Some of the things that happen with him are good for me to share here as it shows what is going on in my daily life. I like thinking that I can help others smile maybe just a little. The pics that show up cannot be found with a search so that is alright. I have really come to enjoy blogging on here in this recovery realm and I don't want to give up SC to do it. The funny part of this is that when I am sitting in a meeting I have no problem saying both my first and last name. I started doing that there because we had so much anonymity that you could not tell one George from another. (just an example) Here where everyone has access to it I had to think better of that. Just a personal opinion. Happy Saturday to All.

HOME SWEET HOME

For those who are unable to drink moderately the questionis how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible.This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish. Alcoholics Anonymous (page 34) More about Alcoholism

Well here is the wrap up of one really busy week. I slept in yesterday and was finally leaving my motel around 11:00 a.m. I called M C to say see ya later and I was not paying attention to the speed limits or my speed. I was leaving a message for MC when I saw the policeman and looked at how fast I was going. I thought I was in a 55 mph zone and I was doing 66 so I immediately slowed down and said oh Shit I am going to get pulled over.

I hung up my blue tooth and the copper was following me. I knew I was getting a ticket before I even started home. He finally hit the lights and I stopped. He came up to my car and said he had clocked me at 66 in a 45, asked for the usual stuff registration, insurance, and license. I dug the first two out of the glove box handed those to him then reached for my billfold pulled it up and asked the fine officer if he was in a good mood he said he was so I showed him my SC license from the N pol. He laughed and said that was cute but he needed to see the real one so I handed it to him. I knew I was getting a ticket I just knew it. He looked to see that it all matched up then handed it back to me asked me to slow down and said have a nice day.

MC called me about the time I was pulling away and asked if I had been pulled over? I told her this story and she said I was a brat. I started laughing so hard I was crying.

So I left there at 11:30 drove 180 miles and started nodding so I pulled over for a nap. another 500 miles and stareted nodding again so I pulled over for anoter nap less than 100 miles from home. A drive that should have taken at the most with good weather 11 hours turned into 15 1/2 hours one hour short of of being gone exactly a week. I think I had just put too much into a week. Like 10 pounds in a 5 pound bag. I do not sweat like I used to though when I see a policeman.

I was able to get a couple hours of sleep before my day started. I started out by checking e-mails and blogs. I was looking for an e-mail from Anonymous Biker so that I could catch up with him while he was close me. I have had a apllication to volunteer SC's services at the hospital so I caught the volunteer co-ordinator and she said that she would like to use SC with a special olympics event next Wed. & Thur. That made me fell okay. Then I told her I needed to go upstairs and look for a guy named M___. Anonymous Biker to all of us. I had no idea of his last name but I was hoping he would not have any problem recognizing me. This is not a small Hospital something like 7 floors. I determined it would be ICU and hit the waiting rooms for that no answer. So I walked down the hallway and back past a bunch of rooms not having a clue who I was looking for. I found a room where it looked like a biker type sitting there visiting so I poked my head in and said I was looking for M___. That guy said not here as I turned around another guy who looks nothing like what you would figure a biker to look like comes up and says I am M___. You must be Big Sky. It was great we live in a world where God really does work. I met his mom and Dad then we went for a coffee, had a nice visit then I went to lunch with Mike and his Mom.

It was nice to help some other folks smile, and meet another member of the fellowhip as well as a blogger. M__ was heading home this afternoon. I think his family could still use some prayers. I had just wished I could have been here days earlier. During our visit I found that I know some of his relatives. It's a small world after all.

When I was early in the program I was told that I had friends all over the world that I had not even met. In 1975 the international was in Denver and I was trying to get with the program. I had a sponsor the n that was the pat you on the head type and say keep coming back it will be alright. I did meet some people from all over the world and I met a guy from Sweeden, he gave me his business card and I kept it for years even though I was sure I would never go there and I could not understand anything that was on the card. Today I have a world of friends yet to meet in this fellowship.

I have been inspired though by this blogging stuff the recent meetings I went to in Denver and some of the speakers I listened to while I was on the road. I am going to find a home group here if I have to go to every single meeting in GFalls t oofind one that believes that what we have to do is in the Big Book working steps going to meeting having a sponsor and using them as well as helping others. I used to be a big book thumper I just lost sight of that. I did not like the way they do meetings here, just a bunch of whinning. I listened to a talk that my sponsor gave and found that he had the same problem when he moved to another place for a while. I really heard what he had to say about it and how his attitude changed.

This new inspiration has grabbed me and I will probably not be a very popular guy around here. When I was doing this before in meetings I was doing good, and I intend to get to that place again. I want all of the things that God wants to give me. I picked up a meeting schedule we have 64 meetings a week 20 miles away and 1 right here in town. I asked my Indian friend this afternoon where there might be a good meeting he told me about a noon meeting where the longest sobriety was just over a year and they all think it is ok to keep going out and trying it again so he suggested we start going to that meeting.

We will end up being real unpopular but this program is about living sober and letting others know about never having to go out there again. My friend is a big book thumper as well so it will be interesting, My sponsor was too so I feel that I need to get involved and not just sit back and figure they don't need me around. By doing that I am not working my program the Big Book says on page 89 Working with others

Practical experience shows that nothing will somuch insure immunity from drinking as intensivework with other alcoholics. It works when other activitiesfail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry thismessage to other alcoholics! You can help when noone else can. You can secure their confidence whenother fail. Remember they are very ill

So I will probably be doing the same thing on my blog as well.

Trip has been good with bad news mixed in.

The end of this trip has been good for me. Last night going to a meeting and seeing MC was great. Only one other person I knew was at that meeting, in a room with about 25 people in it. I got up early this morning and went to a 7:30 meeting. Only 3 of us there and I did not know the other 2.

Then I went to a mall on the south end of town to meet with my sister and 2 of her adult children. My nephew decided that he wants to become SC. He has only one problem weight about 130 and solid as a rock, along with a very thin look in his face. I was glad that he liked my alter ego .

I am amazed at how much growth has taken place here in Denver and they are still building all kinds of things. There are some new highways that they have finished since I was here last. I like the familiar routes of the past. I was going to Arvada this evening and my motel is on the south end of town. I was not paying attention and the next thing I know I am in Tiny Town west of Denver. Everything changes even the way my mind thinks.

I was able to meet up with my old friend JG and then went out to dinner with his family did some catching up it was nice. That is another one of those relationships that is priceless to me. We may be meeting up in Missouri when I make my trip down there in July. We determined that I was here in Denver about 7 years ago again for just a couple days.

Then I was off to another meeting I had called a couple of old friends to meet me there. I was glad that I did that because they were the only two that I knew there. Some of the good news today was finding out that my brother has managed to string together enough days to have been sober for several years. However many that is. I ran into another guy that I knew that I was just sure he would not be around for long. He is still here and sober for 16 years 6 months and 3 days. That is an absolute miracle I know this program works.

Then the bad news was that I had to realize the mortality. You find out who has gone on to the really big meeting. And in how many names I really did not recognise. I was able to get to 3 meetings in 24 hours spend time with family and friends. So now it is time to get some sleep and head back to the Big Sky in the morning

Free at last free at last

We made it and I did not even have to say anything bad. I did kind of get even though. I told him I wanted to listen to an AA cd he said ok. I picked one that I thought would be the least offensive there was a statement that said 1966 was a Bitch. A little bit later the speaker said Damn.

We were able to get back to Denver in time for me to catch a meeting a little bit late but it was nice to go into the room where I finally got serious about staying sober. I called MC as we were pulling into town to let her know where I was going so she showed up it was really nice to get a chance to visit. Sadly there was only one other person there that I knew but was not sure that I recognized him. I know he had no idea who I was until I was asked to share. It was fun though because several people came up to me and said I looked familiar. (note the photo on my profile then check out MC's blog she shouldbe posting a picture) I told them all I get that a lot. The best part was I felt like I was home. The worst part was the smoke, oh well I survived.

It is nice to have this group of bloggers here. I want all of you to know that I do appreciate the comments that are left. I am still waiting for Mike to send me an e-mail so that we can connect as soon as I get home.

This room that I have for 2 nights is pretty nice though maybe I will stay for a few more nights. It is a trade off from SSC so I am getting the best in the end. Not a chance though I am looking forward to seeing a few more old friends and my sis then going home to my wonderful wife.

FRUSTRATION

Well it is now Sunday afternoon, I am sitting in the lobby area of the Raddison here in Branson. The SC preconvention activities are over. My driving partner is visiting with some of his friends who drove 2 1/2 hours to spend the day with him. I am suppossed to move over to another hotel this afternoon, I am not sure they have wireless access so I thought I would take this time to blog and vent.


From Denver to Branson I was listening to nothing but christian rock music and being preached at. I have my religon and it happens to be the same as his. The big difference is I do not wear it on my sleeve or feel the need to preach to EVERYONE that I come into contact with. The driving partner and co-chair I have looks nothing like SC to me. At our first stop for dinner in Limon a family of 3 noticed us sitting there and Dad comes over to me and in a soft voice tells me that his son over there (about 3) said I don't look like George Bush but that I do look a lot like SC. I asked dad what his son's name is then told him I would come over and talk to him in a few minutes. Well my co-chair I think I will refer to him now as Scarey SC or SSC. He says to me what am I chopped liver? I just kind of chuckled and shrugged my shoulders, went over and talked to my young friend. I felt bad that SSC had his feelings hurt for the first 18 hours we were together.

When we arrived at our over nite stay in Colby, Ks. we walked into the lobby together and there were 3 young ladies sitting in the lobby with mom and Dad. We had the same basic reaction he was not even noticed. Again I felt bad. By the time we arrived here in Branson I was very frustrated as SSC did not get up in time for us to get an early enough for us to get here at the time we had planned on so that we could clean up a bit before our first event, so much so that we were late to it. I should have known we were going to have problems from the moment I first arrived at his home. I had called him and let him know I would be there in 3 hours, then again when I was 45 minutes away. We were suppossed to just throw my bags in his car and leave. It was an hour after I arrived before we pulled away from his home.

Our first business meeting was to start at 9am on Saturday. At 7 I told SSC that I would let him have the bathroom firstso he could have breakfast before the meeting. He was still messing around in there at 8:40. So I angrily let him know that I did not appreciate this threw on some pit stick and a clean shirt and went to the meeting. He was still late for that one, we have been stuck together all weekend and I still have to spend at least til Monday night with him. We have been late getting to and leaving every event that we were suppossed to attend. Of course he is picking up the room for tonight, I had mentioned to hime that I was going to spend an extra day or 2 in Denver before I headed for home, so the nice part of that is that he told me after I paid for the first nights hotel that he could get me a big discount at a major chain in Denver because his wife works for them and he would pay for 2 nights. He told me last night that his wife has already made my reservation for when we get back to Denver I let him know that it would only be fair if I paid for the second night but that I would take advantage of the discount.

Last night we went to the Dixie Stampede and it was pretty good I think they must have fed over 2000 people dinner in less than 15 minutes, that was a wild system. Then we went to the Welk theater to see Darin Romeo the singing magician. He was a good illusionist and we all had a blast except for SSC he went to the lobby at intermission and never came back into the show. We were asked to wait for him to finish his autograph session after the show so he could visit with the 10 of us. That was even more fun, he is going to make it snow here in July for one event at our convention. Our committee work did not take up a lot of time, I think the travel agency, the hotel and the show people were just wanting to impress the committee. They picked up the cost of everything all weekend except for gratuities.

I am learning that I am not going to travel like this again it just doesn't work for me. I have grown to enjoy my privacy and having time to myself. I can hardly wait for Monday night when I will have a room to myself.

Well I am going to head over to the other motel and hope for a connection so I can get back on and read some of my favorite blogs.